DUBLIN POLAROID
by Lia

.script by Mirelle.

|story visited times|

Chapter
|01| |02| |03| |04| |05| |06| |07|

Chapter 01

“ here.” I answered my phone very tired. It was late and I had just left the office where I work and people were already calling me. Sometimes I really wonder if I should live there. I am a linguist, but I work as a journalist. I write reviews about movies and its world. I like it, but my dream is, one day, producing my own documentary.
“Darling, we need you to come back here.” My boss, the gentle faggot Jamie Andersen – and I do think his name is suggestive. I have this thing with names. I think names say loads about us. And Jamie Andersen means a fag for me. He is adorable, it’s just a comment.
“Jamie, you can’t be serious. I left there five minutes ago. Six, to be precise. C’mon, you can’t be missing me…”
“I am not. I need you to review the cover of the magazine here.”
“I hate you.”
“But you’ll be here in five?”
“I will take my pillow!” I said hanging up.
I went back to my office and when I got there, everything was dark. When I turned on the lights, there was this huge banner and people clapping their hangs and partying, saying:
“Surprise!”
“What? No…It’s not my birthday people. My b-day is in six months!”
“You silly! The surprise is something we pulled of as a previous b-day.” Said Jamie, a little high. I didn’t get a thing, honestly. “Open up the envelope on your PC” I ran to it and then I opened it up. It was an airplane ticket, to Ireland. I felt my eyes shinning.
“Jamie? What is it?”
“Well, as the Universal Studios received great reviews from you we tried this deal with them, I happened to tell them that you love Ireland and that you dream to make your own thing and… and they will afford your trip to Ireland. You’ll produce your documentary. Better, you’ll shoot it there and you’ll come back to USA to produce it and stuff at the Universal studio. They are willing to afford a new cineaste.”
“Oh my fucking God! I can’t believe it! Thank you Jamie, thank you so much!” I said crying. It was my dream coming true right in front of my eyes. I was going to be afforded to produce my own documentary in Ireland! It couldn’t be real!
You may imagine, we partied until the sun came up and then I went home, to sleep, pack and go to the airport. It was a dream, really.
I invited Jamie to come with me, to help me a little and to party. But I knew it was more for his vacation and he deserved it very much. It was summer and we deserved this vacation that would mean lots of work too.

Arriving on the Leprechauns’ land

“Jamie, wake up. We’re arriving!”
“We are not!” he said, sleepy. When I am excited I keep awake. And, if I don’t sleep, no one does, I’m afraid.
“Of course we are! I see leprechauns down there already!”
“I don’t think they’re sexy. It’s not stimulating me. Sorry to disappoint you.” I kept shaking him and we finally went down the airport straight to take a cab. I have to say, though, I am a little clumsy. I was walking happy on the street and I looked behind me to talk to Jamie and then I just heard the car and Jamie screaming like a mental person. I was run over.

When I woke up, hell, there was this huge man, gorgeous to death, , eyes and with hands of an angel. He was wearing white clothes and when I opened my eyes, he opened his perfect line of white teeth to me. I was kinda unconscious and I said:
“Hey…are you an angel?” he laughed delighted and a little embarrassed.
“Some people say so. But I am best known as Doctor. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t have wings.” I smiled. Every single ran-over person should wake up with such a vision. Jamie was crying like a mental person. He thought I was dead, I guess. But I didn’t think it was too serious.
“I am not disappointed Doctor. Where am I?”
“Well, I suppose you’re a tourist, right?” I nodded. Jamie had probably told him we were from USA and blah, blah, blah. “I am very pleased to introduce you to the Memorial Hospital, in Dublin. I think he likes you.”
“I am sorry. Am I ok?”
“Don’t be sorry, it was an accident little lady!” he said, pressing my nose. He was way more than a temptation. “And you are perfectly fine. You just have to take care of this ankle. You twisted it and now your small foot looks like a pineapple!” he joked and I laughed. Jamie laughed loudly.
“Will I have to put something on it?”
“No, not really. You can work and do whatever you want but playing soccer. You don’t look the soccer kind anyway.”
“Doctor, she is more of a man than you and me together! She watches ESPN from morning to midnight.”
“No kidding. Are you serious?”
“That’s true. I love sports!” I said.
“Very good, me too!” he said opening that smile to me. I think I should get run overs more often…Mental note for that!
“And, in fact, I want to go to the hotel, to watch my beloved Roger Federer!”
“If you want and if I don’t bother…We can go to the pub down the street, the ‘Scrubs’ and we…you know, watch it together.”
“Really? That would be awesome!” was I being already asked out by my new favorite Irish doctor?
“It’s me and four more friends, if you don’t mind…”
“Oh, not at all. I just was wondering if I could know your name first, doc…”
“ , nice to meet you.” He said, shaking hands with me. They were those huge, male hands. I have this thing with hands as well.
“Nice to meet you, too.”
“See you then?”
“Just wait a few seconds, I can give you guys a ride.”
“Oh, don’t bother…”
“I do bother; otherwise we’ll be back here as you’ll be run over by a car again.” He teased me, the funny man. Jamie was quiet, just looking. I knew that he was going to mock me till the end of the days but...c’mon, it was Apollo right in front of me. Good nickname, actually. From now on, he is Apollo.
“Who did it, by the way?”
“Well…” he said, completely blushed. “You’re looking at him.”
“And you really think we’re going anywhere with you driving? No way!” he laughed. “Will your car have to be fixed?”
“No, not at all. You’re too tiny for that.”
“You have this funny vein, don’t you?”
“I think I should have got the humor career. I shouldn’t have studied that much.” We laughed and I went out of his office.
“I think the cute doc liked you.” Jamie started. I said he would, didn’t I?
“You are awful, Jamie. He is just a nice guy.”
“Snog a little! It’ll do you no harm.” He said, standing up.
“Where are you going?”
“To the hotel and then to the stores!”
“But…will you…?”
“Darling, you didn’t think I’d go out with you to watch tennis games, did you? I’d rather die!”
“Will you leave me alone with ?” I said, desperate. I had just met him. What if he was a maniac?
“Oh, he is just a nice guy.” He said, blinking. Son of a bitch, he was already leaving me in that situation in Dublin. Before I could ran to a vase and hide myself behind it, was out of the office, without his jacket and with jeans, moccasins and a kaki polo T-shirt. I’d give him a 9 for the outfit. I give grades to movies and it turned into a habit, as I hadn’t mentioned this other mania of mine.
“I’m ready. The game starts in five minutes.”
“Won’t you work today?”
“No, I’m on my vacation. It’s summer and I am still finishing my last months as a resident. They decided to give me a break. They are afraid I’ll die!”
“What does that really mean? Doctors make me confused.”
“It means that in six months, I’ll be a pediatrician. And that I worked too many duties of 24 this semester and they gave me the month free.” Great, Apollo Patch Adams. Isn’t it so cute? Could I claim being treated by a pediatrician because I am short? Whatever, I am just kidding. I wasn’t in love with him. He was a gorgeous man who invited me to go to a pub watch Federer and Hewitt playing tennis, with few friends, after treating my twisted ankle. And finding a boyfriend wasn’t my goal in Dublin, specially when I was going to go back to Chicago in a month.
“Are you like…Patch Adams?”
“Every single person asks me that. I treat HIV positive kids, not cancer kids. It’s an amazing job and I am really surprised how I like doing it.” He wanted to save the world. And he had dimples! I can’t stand dimples! Dimples are too much for me. I am only human!
“That’s something huge, eh? Congratulations.”
“You look like you have projects this huge as well.” How did he know? It shocked me a little but I caught myself saying what I was thinking.
“I always wanted to do this alphabetization project but I never quite got the time or money. I have new dreams and I donate part of my money to institutions and I organize parties. I do what I can to help people. And would you walk slower? I have a pain here!” I said, as I wasn’t getting along very well his steps! I mentioned this project I wanted to do in College for the first time since something very bad had happened to me in 2001. Then I decided to change a little and I started another life. But this is something I don’t really want to talk about.
“I am sorry. Want some help?” He said, offering his arm to carry me. It was a temptation but…too much intimacy.
“No, don’t bother. Just walk a little slower, would ya?”
“Absolutely. But tell me…what are you doing around here? You’re not from town are you?”
“I am from USA, in fact. I lived in NY City until 2001 and then I moved to Chicago. I will shoot my documentary around here. Sort of. It’ll be more like a people-watching, actually.”
“Are you what? A cineaste?” We finally got to the car. My ankle was huge and it hurt a lot.
“Ouch, no, no…I am a linguist and I work as a journalist.”
“You’re in pain, right?”
“A little.”
“I almost broke your ankle, little girl.”
“I will survive, don’t worry. Let’s go, I don’t wanna miss Federer.”
“I have bad news about that.”
“You’re a Hewitt’s fan.”
“Bulls eye.”
“Obvious. And you are Liverpool in England, Inter in Italia and Barcelona in Spain.”
“I shivered! How did you know?”
“Because I love Federer, Manchester, Milan and Real Madrid. We can’t watch anything together.”
“It’s not my fault you have bad taste.” I laughed and we arrived at the pub. “Before we get in, I have to say that my four friends are insane. Don’t hate me because of them.”
“You heard Jamie, probably hitting on you. I won’t hate you if you don’t hate me”
“We have a deal!” he said laughing. We got to a table five four more guys, very handsome as well. “Hello fatsos!”
“Hey that, white whale!” said one of them.
“This one is . We met today and she loves Federer!”
“Sit beside me . We’re oil in the water of this table!”
“The poet there is . And he is really a writer.” Grade 9 for , for the sympathy and the fantastic eyes. “The one who called me white whale is , he is a lawyer, that’s how he makes people embarrassed.” 8.5 for , for being creative and trying to make his friend embarrassed. “The other one smoking is and he owns this pub where we are.” 8 for , for being a smoker. His name was gay, unfortunately. He was my plan for Jamie. “The last one is , mute for now because he is talking to the bossy wife. And he is a housewife! No, I’m joking, in fact he is a chef on a fancy restaurant around here. You see, I am the poor guy here.” was an 8.5 for being a family man and sweet eyes. High grade group. I felt like biting the paradise, if you know what I mean.
“Hello guys!” I said, waving and walking slowly to ’s direction, to make the division of fans.
“Why are you walking so slowly? And how did you meet Moby Dick?” Asked and I laughed. 9 for being a sympathetic guy.
“I was run over by today, in front of the airport. It answers both I guess.” They laughed.
“That’s romantic, . Is she what? A Manchester fan?”
“In fact I am. That’s why he did it. It’s a genocide plan!” the guys laughed loudly. I always felt more comfortable with men than with women.
“No, I mean, would you see a girl this short? How old are you, hobbit?”
“I am 26, giraffe.”
“No kidding! I would say, easily, 22!” said spitting his beer. was a 9 for the compliment now!
“Thank you . HEY! ! Federer started already!”
“Oh, he is so out! Hewitt will kick his ass!” said , trying to provoke me.
“Hewitt is so not. Federer is the best tennis player ever!”
“You don’t have a clue about sports. Not even one of your choices is the best, little girl.” Could I believe it? The man was already teasing me about my team and players choices,
“Oh, do you wanna bet?”
“Sure! If Hewitt wins you’ll go out with me tomorrow night.” Now he was asking me out and I felt like being punched on my stomach. For gladness of course. was definitely a 9.5. A 10 is only after the kiss.
“If Federer wins, you’ll help me with my people watching!”
“Deal!” we said that and then we noticed people were kinda lost looking at us. I felt embarrassed, but I forgot about it.
“What did you mean by people watching, ?” asked me, in the game’s break.
“I’m in Ireland for work. I’ll tape few things and do this people-watching documentary.”
“Whoa, are you a cineaste?”
“No, I am a linguist and I work as a journalist. But I finally got to be sponsored by a great company and I’ll shoot things here and I’ll finish it there, on the studio.”
“And what are your plans? I am curious, sorry if I am inconvenient…” asked .
“Don’t worry. I’ll do a people watching and “sound tracking” of people's lives. See that couple right there?” I pointed to a shy couple, the guy was shaking to give the girl the cup of coffee and she was blushing. The guys nodded. “The guy is unsure of her interests. He was probably a chess player geek on high school. And she was the cheer leader. He can’t believe she accepted to go out with him and she can’t believe she is interested on a slow motion geek. Imagine that scene with the song “Kiss the Girl” from the movie ‘The little Mermaid’, from Walt Disney.” A moment for imagination and then they burst in laughers of agreement.
“That was fantastic ! It fits perfectly with your description.”
“Thank you, .”
“Well, in my office it would be the “Rocky Balboa” theme. I feel like Stallone when I finish the stairs!” he laughed. I felt comfortable seeing that people would like, perhaps, my idea.
“I just have to find five or six places to shoot with five or six people. It’s way enough, I guess. I’ll do a people watching with this person.”
“How come?”
“, you probably notice different things on the crowd than or . Different points of views. You notice different things and you think different things about people. It’s nice to see life for different angles and eyes.”
“If you agree so, I would like to be part of it! It’s really innovative and creative.” said . I smiled. It was turning into much more fun than I would have ever expected.
“ME TOO!’” said and then and and finally:
“I want to be part of your documentary too.”
“You will have to, because your poor Lleyton Hewitt is about to loose. Three match points for Roger Federer!”
“Shit!” I laughed and when Hewitt missed the last ball, and I started to clap our hands. It was a party! We mocked the others until we almost peed of laughing. Sports were like this, and that’s why I loved it. It’s pretty full of testosterone, but it’s one of my secret pleasures.

Chapter 02

After more beers and talking, we scheduled the days I’d go out with them to shoot. would be with me all the days, as he was on vacation and was really willing to be part of it. I had no objections as he was such a great guy and I would need help anyway, as Jamie would enjoy his stores and blonde Irish men, mainly , after I introduced them.
I said the byes to the guys and then took me to the hotel.
“Nice guys, your friends, you know?”
“Thank you. You were totally amazing with them, actually.”
“Was I?”
“They are not that sympathetic with girls when watching sports, we turn into unbearable monsters. You see, ’s bossy wife expelled him from home. No one bears us when we’re watching sports.” I laughed. “Really, when Jamie said you were more of a man than me and him, I guess he was right. I never met a girl who liked and understood sports that much.”
“Sometimes, I think I should move to sports section. But, I am happy with my job.”
“Why don’t you move?”
“I am a woman and this means more trouble than it seems. I don’t care that much I guess.” I said, trying to get more comfortable, as my foot was swollen and hurting. He noticed and said:
“Is it hurting that much?”
“It is a little more than I expected. But don’t worry.” I said, trying to get out of the car and go to my room. He helped me and then he noticed it was more swollen.
“I think this time you’ll have to accept my ride, little lady. Otherwise it’ll get really bad.” He said, already picking me up on his arms. He was strong, I have to say. My only choice, due to the situation and the pain on my pineapple foot was hugging his neck. “Don’t be afraid, I am not a maniac.” He said and I laughed, feeling way more comfortable. He took me till the door of my room. When Jamie opened the door, he gave me that look and smiled.
“Doctor, hello!”
“Hello Jamie, I have this package for you.”
“What should I do with it?”
“Don’t let it walk around too much; otherwise the documentary will go to the dark side of the force.” Jamie laughed and saw was willing to say bye.
“I’ll put some pillows and prepare the bed for my package, doctor. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome!” Silence. I hate silences. I have to say something to interrupt it. Silences make me tense.
“So, thank you very much as well, for all the attention, the wonderful time this afternoon and for making my documentary completely set up.. I can’t thank you enough, actually.”
“No need of thanking me, it was my fault and it was a pleasure, as well.” Silence again. I had to say something about it.
“Why are you so silent? You tired?”
“I am just sorry because Hewitt lost.”
“Really?” That was weird, really! Why did he like that player that much anyway?
“Yeah, now I can’t take you out as we’ve bet” Answer me: wasn’t that so cute? How would someone not smile hearing that? I am a human being and I have a thing with dimples and shy men. He was both and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Does that make you so sad?”
“Sure! Hewitt is not even my favorite anymore!” He blushed and it was a sign from Heaven that I should go out with him.
”Poor…But, you see, it happens that tomorrow night I am totally free. Don’t blame Hewitt just yet.” He opened the hugest smile ever.
“Are you sure? There is really no problem?” he asked, really interested on what I was going to answer. I felt that he really didn’t want to be inconvenient.
“Of course, we shoot with tomorrow and after that I think a have a time on my schedule for you.” He laughed.
“I pick you up tomorrow at nine here then, we shoot and then we see each other at night.”
“That sounds great.”
“See you then.”
“Bye, good night.” He smiled and ran downstairs. When I closed the door, Jamie was behind me.
“I think you have a date!”
“You are right I guess. Isn’t he cute?”
“For sure, he is way cute. He is too straight for me, but he is a god!”
“Apollo is fantastic and he is my official assistant!”
“How come?”
“He lost a bet.”
“And you are everything but silly, uh?”
“Poor me, I have to rest, my foot does look like a pineapple now! And it hurts proportionally!” We sighed.
“You called him Apollo?”
“It’s a nickname.”
“It fits!”
“Doesn’t it?”
“What about his friends?”
“There are four Irish pieces, very sympathetic and nice guys. There’s one for you, I guess. Group grade 9, I’d say.”
“Very good, very good. Name?”
“ .”
“Height?”
“Taller than you.”
“Eyes?”
“I don’t remember.”
“You’ve been better, uh?”
“He is gay, he is nice and he is yours. You have time to find out.”
“But Apollo…Apollo you can have, with ketchup and potato chips.”
“I think we passed the friends’ barrier too early!” I said, expressing an opinion.
“And that means exactly what?”
“When you meet someone, you can’t become friends too quickly; otherwise this is what you’re going to be.”
“Is that another theory of yours?”
“It’s a fact. And we are already friends, so…”
“So it means that you’ll have to bear, for the rest of your life, that gorgeous man carrying you up and down without ever kissing him because you are friends?” I had to nod, wondering if it was already a fact. “That’s why I love not having any friends then.” He said, drinking his scotch.
“Don’t be silly… I’m going to shoot with tomorrow. He is a lawyer and he is very gorgeous too. He called Moby Dick.”
“I didn’t find him fat.”
“Me neither…do you think he is like…a non-fat fat?” I asked, wondering if he had a daddy-belly, you know? Full of Guinness?
“Ask him to be alone with me in a room only wearing boxers and in an hour or a week, more likely for a week, I can make sure that I’ll have the answer!” I threw the pillow on him.
“You dirty man! Let me rest, I have to work tomorrow, while you shop.”
And we finally went asleep.

I woke up the next day at eight, and my foot was kinda better. I should only “save it” a little. I got ready, picked up my material and, nine sharp, my phone rang.
“ here.”
“Do you need a cane up there, Sporty Spice?”
“Good morning to you too. And, no, thank you, but I am better.”
“I’m glad for that. You ready?”
“Sure, I’ll go downstairs in a minute.” I went down, wearing my powerful moccasins, my kaki cargo trousers and a white simple blouse with a ballerina stamped. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt as well. The t-shirt made his eyes r.
“You look quite doll-like. Ready?”
“Sure, sure…” Doll-like? Do I look like a doll? That made me think. Would I be a Barbie? I never liked dolls much. I think he noticed I was thinking about it. Else, he read my mind!
“It’s not bad look like a doll. It was a gentle way to say you look pretty.”
“Oh…it’s OK.”
“You seemed bothered to me.”
“No, I wasn’t, I just was wondering what you meant. Doll-like seemed fragile to me.”
“Do you have any trouble with being fragile?”
“I think I do.”
“You are not fragile.”
“You don’t know.”
“I assume, then.”
“I appreciate, anyway.” We smiled to each other and there was the goddamn silence again. “Do you have CD’s?”
“Yes, I don’t know if you’ll like those, but they’re right beside you.” I opened the CD purse and it was like finding gold. He had Queen, Van Halen, Wham!, Rolling Stones, Creedance Clearwater Revival and few more of those classic rocks that are never too old. “Are they that bad?” I laughed, and messed his hair. He made such a cute ‘do-I-have-bad-taste?’ face!
“No, it’s just the opposite! I can’t choose my favorite in here.”
“You mean it? Even the Kiss one?”
“Are you kidding, this is way the best! Because ‘I wanna rock and roll all night!’…” I said, singing the Kiss’ song “All night”. For my surprise, he sang the other line.
“I want it everyday! Yes, it’s very nice.”
“I’ll put the Rolling Stone’s though.”
“Perfect by me, I love his voice!”
“Me too.” And we kept singing and laughing like a couple of idiots inside the car until we got to ’s office.
“Hey !”
“Hey there…How are you?” he asked me.
“I’m just fine. Ready to start? I don’t wanna put you in trouble.”
“Do you think my boss cares about something when I have this puppy dog face?” he said, blinking, coming inside the car. We decided, while taking, that we would do it finding peoples doubles and I’d make the song stuff later. was going to record it.
I noticed he had brought another camera.
“Hey, Sparky, what’s that for?”
“I bought this and I wanted to try it…” he said, smiling. I smiled back and I started to shoot and it was so funny! found the most amazing similarities: one Janis Joplin, one Alanis, Fred Mercury and this weird guy wearing weird clothes, listening to music, who was the copy of Barry White. I took few shots of to do his life’s song as well. People watching as you know, is wondering about people lives. We concluded that Janis Joplin was a gypsy, Alanis a ballerina, Fred Mercury was a postman and Barry White a secret hip hop dancer. It’d be very nice this first shooting, the funny part of it. kept shooting things too and he never got to let me see what. Whatever, see if I care!
We went back to our lives: to his job, and me back to the hotel. My foot was aching too much again and was concerned.
“I think we’ll have to put a bandage on this.”
“No, no, it’s just fine, don’t worry.”
“It is not fine, it’s swollen and it is hurting.”
“It is not!”
“I am a doctor, I know it is hurting. C’mon, just a bandage!”
“It’s fine, don’t worry.”
“You are not, it’s obvious. Let me help you!”
“You’re making me embarrassed!”
“You can walk perfectly, then?” I nodded and, to prove I was right, I forced it to walk and I even got pale, because it hurt as hell. “So I see. C’mon, let’s go up there; I’ll take care of you.” I raised one eyebrow, unconsciously. “In a good way!” I laughed.
“I know, Doc. Would you help me? No need to carry me, just give me your arm.”
“I insist, little lady.” He said, picking me up again. That was my tough, tough life. I really HATED being carried for that gorgeous man around. That was unbearable! Poor me!
“People will think you’re my servant.”
“Is being gentle that old-fashioned?”
“Not in my opinion, though it makes me a little shy.”
“Is that so? Why?”
“I know you for 40 hours I guess.”
“Though it seems a little more already.”
“I have to agree.”
“Here we are. Is Jamie here?”
“Hell no, the sun is shinning, he is shopping.” laughed loudly and put me gently on the floor.
“Go to bed, I’ll do an exam.”
“An exam on bed?” I teased him and he laughed, putting up this angel face.
“Would you stop having horny thoughts, please? There’s a pure person on the room!” I laughed loudly and gave him my foot. “It is kinda black on the left and really swollen this other side, you see?” I nodded. “Better on your foot than inside your head. Does it hurt if I touch here?” he touched it very softly, but I screamed, because it was horrible.
“OUCH !”
“Sorry…Well, it’s kinda bad, little girl. Our dinner is off.”
“Is it?” I couldn’t hide my disappointment. I wanted so bad to go out with him!
“I think so. Otherwise you’ll be kinda bad on ’s shooting.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Well…” he said, when he noticed I was interested. “We can order pizza and rent few movies.”
“That sounds perfect to me.”
“I’ll be back in an hour or so. Do you trust my movie’s taste?”
“I’ll take the chance.” I said and he left. I put the scenes on the video and started watching it and selecting it. I had already 15 minutes just for art edition and sound tracking.
was really back in an hour with two pizzas and two movies.
“Hey, Doctor House, are you ready?”
“What did you bring?”
“I brought ‘Big Fish’ and ‘Elizabethtown’. They are not too famous, but…”
“Totally amazing! Love both directors and I wrote the review of both movies.” We smiled to each other but that feeling of ‘he likes what I like’ and ‘she likes what I like’ was so normal now that it didn’t mean a surprise when we found out something in common. That was more disturbing than you can imagine.
Anyway, we sat, he made something with pillows – I named something because I didn’t associate it with anything else - to put my foot – it was very comfortable! - and we ate and had lots of fun. In the end of the day, it was better than going out, I guess. It brought us closer.
After seeing movies and eating like two starving pigs, he had to go. And we were going to see each other in three days, when would open the restaurant where he worked to poor people and would cook for them for free.
“So, see you on Sunday.” I said.
“Yes…I’ll see you.”
“Right.” Silence. God! Was it a test?
“Are you feeling weird with these days without seeing me?” he asked and before I could answer something he said “Because I am feeling weird. Actually, I am feeling double weird: weird for not seeing you and weird for feeling this weird and being telling you.”
“You could say triple weird.”
“That’s right!”
“We can talk to each other.”
“Right, right…but, you know..Would I be like…a tick if I stepped by one of these days to see you and to chat a little? I feel like I wouldn’t bear my days without having a chat to relax with you. And I feel triple and triple weird now.” I smiled. I was feeling so comfortable that it didn’t seem like trouble being to close to a guy who wouldn’t be part of my life in a month.
“It would be very nice. You can call me, as well. I really appreciate it.”
“I will. Be sure.” He said and kissed my cheek goodbye. “See you. Rest your foot.”
“I will. Take care.”

Chapter 03

On Sunday

Well, the thing is we talked to each other every day and he stepped by the hotel on Saturday, to bring me a book he had and he thought I would like. It was ‘PS: I love you’. Even tough the name is kinda suggestive, he said it was touching and that's why he liked it. I promised I’d read it.
We met again on Sunday to do ’s shooting and it was a fantastic show for charity. If was the funny part, was the proof that happiness hides in lots of places and faces.
Besides, there was this karaoke and you know: some unknown spirit possesses people when they sing on karaoke bars. was still filming something I didn’t know what was.
“What the hell are you filming?”
“Hey, don’t be so curious. This is for research!”
“Bite me! A fat old lady singing ‘Without you’ on karaoke can’t be for research. Neither our comments saying she is a kindergarden teacher because of her hands!”
“Where are your imagination and your cane, Doctor House?” he said, pressing my nose and smiling. How gorgeous was that? I couldn’t express in words.
“C’mon, I want you to sing!”
“No, no, I am shy! Please!” I ran to the microphone and started saying things. was taping.
“Hello everyone! There is a shy singer in the middle of us. I think the name of this situation is: SHAME!” People cheered and he was so blushed that I almost ran to give him a hug. “So, let’s clap our hands so he comes up here…Let’s go! ! ! !” People cheered and then he came up.
“Here I am guys, but, I have only one condition to sing: will be my partner!”
“! No, you’re such a cheater!”
“Come up here, little lady! Let’s cheer a little people? ! ! !” What would I do? Why does my Apollo ask smiling that I can’t do even crying?
“Right, right..What will the song be?”
“You called me first, you choose, Sporty Spice.”
“Cruisin’?”
“Perfect!” We started singing and really had such a voice.

You’re gonna fly away
Glad you’re going my way
I love it when we’re cruising together
Music is played for love
Cruising is made for love
I love it when we’re cruising together.

It finally ended, but we've really done it right. It wasn’t a freak show and people started asking us to sing songs: ‘Iris’, ‘Never Can Say Goodbye’ and others. We sang a little more and when we finally came down he was thrilled.
“God, this was nice!”
“Wasn’t it? I totally loved it. You are such a great singer, !”
“Nah, don’t be so flattering!”
“I am not this kind of person. You really are great.” He gave me a coke. I didn’t even ask, but he guessed I needed one. “How did you know I am thirsty?” He gave me this look and smiled. My heart twisted.
“I just knew. I got this ice bag, for your foot, as well.”
“Thank you for both. My foot is about to explode.”
“Oh, if you’re admitting it, is because you’re dying. Let me see it.” He picked it up and started a massage, that was just perfect. “You feeling better?”
“Whoa, that was so good, thank you.” I sighed. And then I looked into his eyes. “Why are you this kind with me? You don’t even know me.”
“I just feel like seeing your smile every two seconds.” I smiled shyly. “You see? A stupid massage, a coke and ice made me get this smile. Way fair for me. From now on, when I do something you like, just smile and we’ll be even.”
“Right.”
“Well, when will it be our next shooting?”
“At the wedding. invited me to shoot his thing at the wedding of his sister I guess, I have bad memory for dates and compromises.”
“It’s his brother, . We’ll all be there.”
“ and Jamie are already getting along, take a look” I had taken Jamie with me, and and him were getting closer. On the wedding was the top time for them.
“Yeah, I am the only one who’s single now. My mom will totally give me an earful about my singleness.”
“I get your point. I’m the only single person in Movies’ section.” That conversation could only mean trouble and then I decided to go back to the hotel. I was feeling ok to drive, but he insisted and after smiles and the entire situation, I was forced to accept the ride. He took me to the hotel and upstairs.
“Thank you. What time will we go to the wedding?”
“I'll pick you up at six or so, we’ll be there at seven and then we’ll have nice places.” It was making me uncomfortable being so close to him and being not a specific thing at the same time. “Well, I’ll let you rest. See you on Friday.” Five days without seeing him now and this fact got me like a punch on my stomach. This sensation made me feel worried, as I would be really far from him in three weeks.
“See you then.” He was leaving and I caught myself saying. “!”
“What?”
“Well…keep calling me, will ya?” He gave me the nicest smile ever and then he came back to my door.
“Of course I am going to call you…” he kissed one cheek. “And I will step by” he kissed the other cheek. “And I’ll take you out…” he kissed my forehead. “And I will bring movies…” he kissed my nose. “And I will bring pizzas.” He kissed my chin and looked deep into my eyes. I have a little fear of these situations. Even when I am into a guy, I feel like running when I think he’s going to kiss me. It’s stupid, I know. But it’s got to be respected, right? I think he felt it’d be rushing to kiss me and then he said the right thing to make me feel even more comfortable and closer to him. “I will do whatever you want me to do and only what you want me to do. Am I clear, pretty, pretty foreign girl?” I smiled to him, trying hard not to dismay.
“You were perfectly clear. And I really appreciate it.”
“You’re the tourist; I shall obey your wishes. See you then.” He finally picked my right hand and kissed its back, looking into my eyes, like in the movies.
When he left, I got in feeling like if I was flying. I hadn’t had someone in six years. And now he appeared in my life and I was feeling like a teenager again. But it wasn’t feeling wrong, so I didn’t stop it. I knew him for a week now. That’s not plenty time, but I felt like a little more, due to the intense convivial. Besides, we were both adults and we were already delaying things. And I pretty liked this way. I guess…

On Friday

“Jamie, please! Let’s go, hurry up with this make up on my face!”
“Dear, Apollo is totally in love with you, you’re going to meet his family and you have to be the prettiest woman ever!”
“There is no time for nose jobs, he is not in love with me and the BRIDE must be the prettiest! is waiting!”
“He’s got a feeling. No doctor worries so much about a twisted foot. If he weren’t interested, he’d give you Vicodin and would wish good luck.”
“This is ridiculous! Just because you’re already with an Irish boyfriend totally wanting you for five nights on a row it doesn’t mean that feels something.”
“I’m done. You are a master piece, my dear! Apollo will faint when he sees you.”
“I am sure. He’ll be scared”
“Shut up! You look awesome. Navy blue is elegant and this dress is totally sensual. Your curls are falling perfectly on your face and the make up is divine, of course. Be sure he will love you until the end of the night.” I went downstairs and Jamie was in front of me.
“I want to do an introduction of you. Be quiet and wait for my call.” He went to meet while I was hidden.
“, you’re awesome, my dear.”
“Thank you Jamie, you’re pretty elegant, too. Well, erm..Where is ?”
“Oh, I want to do an introduction. There she comes, the goddess in Navy Blue, .” I walked on the lobby and got open mouthed and he smiled. I blushed, of course.
“Wow…I don’t have words. You look so beautiful, .”
“Thank you .” I said smiling and he offered me his arm. Jamie winked and kept waiting for , who was going to pick him up.
We got in the car. was kinda quiet.
“Why so silent, good monsieur?” I said, quoting The Phantom of the Opera. But, surprising me, instead of answering, he kept quoting the musical.
“Did you think that I had left you for good?” I kept quoting, as it felt like what I wanted and should do.
“Did you miss me good monsieur?”
“I have written you an opera.”
“Now I bring the finished score.” And then we said together “Don Juan Triumphant!” and we laughed, happily.
“I am not silent for any reason, Sporty Spice. I am just speechless with your outfit, hairdo, make up…I feel like a dog seeing roasted chicken on bakery stores. I am just not used to. But I don’t keep saying this. I know you don’t like it. I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not that I don’t like compliments. I’d be a hypocrite saying this. They just don’t make me comfortable.”
“Why?”
“I feel embarrassed and sort of…”
“Pushed.”
“How do you know?” I was getting a little mad with this situation!
“I only know things about you. I don’t know how. I know I know.” We smiled and in a blink we arrived. “You’ll meet my parents now. The five of us, me, , , and are childhood friends. All the parents will be here. But my parents are the best!” I laughed and he introduced me.
“Mom, this is , a friend of mine from USA. , this is my mom, .”
“Nice to meet you, .” I said, smiling.
“Nice to meet you, too, . You are gorgeous, for God’s sake! The guys here won’t leave you alone. Don’t leave us, otherwise there will be a line for hitting on you!” I laughed and then his daddy arrived. was really gentle and , with her, made a perfect couple.
“Hello son, you are finally dating? Will I get my grandsons? I hope so, she is divine!”
“Oh, no dad. This is , a friend of mine. She is American. This is my dad, , .” We shook hands.
“Oh, sorry for the freak show. I thought such a pretty lady like you would be my daughter-in-law. But I was wrong. I don’t lose my hopes of seeing this great doctor married.”
“Don’t worry, . Nice to meet you and thank you for the compliments.”
“You’re so sweet! She is so sweet and polite . How come she bears you?” I laughed.
“I make an extra effort, .” He laughed and said
“I totally love her.” And he entered with me on the church and kept laughing. Even his family was great.

Chapter 04

After a thousand more “hello” and “nice to meet you” it finally started. I shot few things, few couples on the church, to show the love on the crowd. Love always interested me. I think it’s the most personal thing: each person has a peculiar way to love. That’s why shooting couples in love was so fun. No one would be like the other.
After that, we went to the party and people were so dancing and me and , for a reason we couldn’t explain, were completely incapable of letting each other go. We kept talking, walking and doing everything together. Sincerely, I can’t remember feeling so comfortable in years. made me feel like home. It was such a non explainable thing.
Then we were on a table: me, , , , , and . It was sort of late and we were all drunk.
“Well, I completely love weddings!”
“Your wedding was so beautiful !” said . “I wish I could see my son getting married as well.” She said, teasing him and I felt my cheeks burning.
“Oh mom, it’s not my fault things don’t work out.”
“, this man here only thinks about saving kids, not about having them.”
“I bet he is waiting for the right person.”
“You see? I know her for two weeks and she gets me better, mom!”
“She is lovely. But, give me a moment, your daddy is calling me. If I don’t see you anymore, , it was way a pleasure to meet you. And make a clone of yourself, so my son gets married to someone like you.”
“Thank you . I feel the same. Give a kiss for me, would ya?”
“Sure, sure…” and she left, to dance with her husband.
“Very well remembered here, , your last girlfriend was two years ago . I would say you are a virgin again!” said . I had to laugh. “, may I ask you something?” said . I nodded but I had the feeling I shouldn’t have said yes. “How long is it been since the last time you had sex?” Luckily, and were dancing and there were only us on the table.
“Oh you wouldn’t believe if I told you.”
“C’mon…It can’t be too long.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not because you’re promiscuous! You’re certainly not. But no one bears too long without sex and you’re too gorgeous and nice for not having men crazy about you.”
“Well, thank you. But it is too long.”
“I doubt it.”
“I assure you.”
“I still doubt it.”
“Try to guess then. A tip: we’re talking about years.”
“One year?” said .
“More.”
“Two?” said .
“No, more.”
“Oh you’re fucking kidding. Three?” said .
“No. More!” gasped. He certainly had naughty thoughts and my heart could be listened out loud, I was sure!
“Four years?” guessed again.
“No, it’s been six years.” They were open mouthed and then they burst into laughers. “It’s true. I’ve been single and alone for six years.”
“You certainly are a virgin again, .” Said .
“Sometimes I feel the same.”
“Don’t you miss doing it? God!” said , shocked, laughing compulsively.
“I miss doing it with someone I love. I can’t have sex for fun. That’s why I didn’t do it.”
“I respect that.” said, serious. People laughed. “Honestly, I would never be capable of such a thing. You have my deepest respect ever.”
“Oh, shut up .” Said .
“C’mon, I even shivered! Six years! We are talking about 2190 days!”
“Are you that addicted ?” asked in a disapproval tone. We were laughing so hard, because was way more than shocked.
“I am not addicted! We are talking about…Gee, I can’t keep talking about this lack of sex!”
“Let’s dance ?” asked , probably trying to take me out of there. I went and it was playing ‘Cruisin’’. I smiled and we danced.
“When you feel like going home, just tell me and then I take you, ok?”
“In fact, I was wondering if we could go now. I took loads of shoots, was totally amazing and my foot is a hundred percent killing me.”
“I'll take you. But after this dance.” Then the song changed. And we only smiled to each other.

Someday, when I’m awfully low
When the world is cold
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight

Yes, you’re lovely
With your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight

With each word your tenderness grows
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
Touches my foolish heart

Lovely, don’t you ever change
Keep that breathless charm
Won’t you, please, arrange it?
‘Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight

“Well…” he said when it ended. “Time to go then.” I was completely shievering after dancing with him. It was magical and we were so close to each other. We danced like if we had danced together for years, not for the first time. That was, definitely, not normal.
We said the byes to everyone and we went to the car. We went to the hotel and I fell asleep, as I was very, very tired. When we arrived, he touched my hair softly. I love suit guys and was definitely better in suits.
“Wake up, little lady…You’re home.”
“Oh, right. Thank you for the amazing time, for your kindness, for the ride, for being such a nice guy. Thank you. You’re making this trip unforgettable.”
“You’re welcome. And, once again, keep smiling to pay me.” I went up the room and I took off the sandals, the heels were completely killing me. Then someone knocked the door. It was not Jamie, as he was going to be with now. I opened and then I saw .
“?”
“You know, I didn’t quite give you the goodbye I wanted.”
“What?”
“Excuse me” he said and before I could even think, he kissed me, with such a passion and such softness that I couldn’t even breath. We entered my room and he pressed me against the wall, but he wasn’t too wild and not even close to rude. He was taking care of me and I wanted that. And I wanted to take care of him too. So, I took off his blazer, his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. In a minute, his hands undone the knot of my dress and it fell on the floor. Then, we broke the kiss, and he looked deep into my eyes. And then he whispered, caressing my hands with his thumbs.
“You are so beautiful….I can’t believe you are for real…” then he carried me to bed, put me there softly and started kissing me from my toe. Then he kissed up my legs, my lap, by belly, my neck and then my face. He kissed each part of my face and my lips. He couldn’t have been tenderer. He was a dream and I could feel in his touch, in his breath that the connection I was feeling, he was feeling also. It was like this bond between us had been built so long before. My heart knew for ages. And his heart knew me too.
Then he stopped again.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He did something kind, to pay him, I smiled.
“Yes, don’t worry.”
“You said you were six years without…”
“It’s true and I may be a little out of shape, a little clumsy…”
“Please…save it…” he said, stopping my talking with kisses. “How come no men noticed someone like you? You are a dream in person.”
“, I spent last six years without a man to deal with me seriously. People treat women as jokes. I am not and I don’t wanna turn into a joke.”
“And you wouldn’t have sex or kiss just for doing it.” I smiled, feeling understood. “I take you seriously. I mean…” he sighed. “I don’t wanna say too much, it won’t sound the way I want it to sound. Just be sure this is not a joke. I’d never take you as a joke. You’re an angel. I don’t break angel’s hearts. You are an illusion for me. I don’t accept the fact that you happen to be real in front of my eyes. It can’t exist someone this beautiful on the inside and on the outside. You gotta be a joke.” I smiled and kept kissing him, but mainly on his hands, neck and his face.
After it happened, I felt like flying. It didn’t even cross my mind that I would be in Chicago in two weeks. I just wanted to sleep in his arms, with his hands caressing my back and rubbing my hair.

Next morning

When I woke up, he was sat in front of me. I smiled.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning.”
“How long have you been there?”
“I am not quite sure. But it was enough to get you this…” he said, showing me donuts and coffee. “And this.” He said, giving me a rose. “And, of curse, this.” And then he gave me a kiss.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Eat a little bit, I have another surprise for you.”
“Oh My God! Don’t make me curious!” I said and I rested my head on his chest, while eating the donuts.
“What’s the point on preparing surprises if I can’t bargain?”
“Are you willing to bargain?”
“Sure, I’ll bargain donuts for sex, for example!”
“I ate two already!” I said, laughing,
“You know the consequences.”
“I am hurt. And it was you who hurt me, remember? Car, run over, twisted foot.”
“I will take care of you…” he said, kissing me. “But I won’t give up on the sex.” I laughed hard. “You laugh? This is not a joke. You owe me loads of sex. And I have high taxes over it. You owe me more than ten nights already.”
“I will pay, don’t worry…” I said winking, surrendering to my Apollo. In fact…
“In fact you called me Apollo…I just remembered that now.” Shit! My stupid mouth!
“Are you sure?” I said, thinking about an excuse. It was kind of embarrassing, even though the reason for his nickname was obvious.
“In the middle of the night, you called me Apollo. Twice.”
“I am busted. Do I have to give you an explanation?”
“No matter how much you speak, you’ll owe me more and more sex. It’ll be your punishment.” I laughed, feeling very good with him. Poor, poor me: sex as a punishment, it was a dream.
“I think you are a nymphomaniac.”
“I am not, I swear. It’s all your fault.”
“Bollocks!”
“I swear I am not the ‘sex 24-7’ kind.”
“I swear I don’t believe you.” He laughed, took the hair off of my eyes and said.
“And I swear I really like you a lot.” Silence. I can’t think when I’m in the middle of a situation like this. Then I say things like:
“I am grateful for that.” I said and wondered if this was what he wanted to hear. I didn’t want to disappoint him, but I didn’t want to say anything yet. But he showed in his eyes he was disappointed, not because I didn’t say I liked him, but because I was running. I wasn’t honest and that was not nice of me.
“Grateful? That’s…nice!” he said, laughing and getting up.
“…”
“Don’t, finish your breakfast, and get ready. I’ll be waiting for you on the lobby, right?” He said kissing me and leaving the room. Shit, I didn’t mean saying that. I think he wanted to listen if I was feeling something. And I said I was grateful. He probably felt like if he was invading my space and left. I changed clothes and got ready quickly and, in despite of my foot, I ran to the lobby, to find him there, sat, looking at the window. When he listened to me running, he turned around laughing.
“Hey, Happy Feet!”
“What? Happy Feet?”
“You looked like a penguin running. Ready?”
“Yes but…are you ok? You left the room so quickly…” I said and then he nodded, smiling.
“Don’t worry; I just wanted to give you some space.” I felt so sorry when I realized I really had disappointed him. “Let’s go then?”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll know when we get there…” he said, pressing my nose. We entered the car and he put the Queen CD. “Do you mind Queen?”
“Not at all, I totally love them.” He smiled and I felt better.
“Did you rest?”
“Yes, I was so tired!”
“You worked a lot on the wedding, on high heels!”
“It was the best shot ever. I love couples!”
“You really seemed to be having fun.” He smiled again and I totally felt more secure again.
“Your parents are totally lovely. I wanted to mention that yesterday, but I was snoring, beside you on the car.”
“You snore, that’s true, very well remembered…”
“What? I was kidding, I don’t snore!”
“You do snore, Sporty Spice, that’s true.”
“I don’t snore.”
“You snore in Pavarotti’s rhythm, very in tone.” He said, rubbing my cheek. “My parents loved you as well.”
“Did they? That’s really nice.”
“Yes, my dad said once…Well, perhaps more than once, that I should marry someone like you and blah, blah, blah.”
“That’s really flattering.”
“Have never heard that? I mean, that you are sort of marriable?” He said that looking to the window, as if he was asking if I liked corn flakes.
“I don’t know. I mean, no one ever said that about me.”
“Well, it’s like…think as a mom. You’re beautiful, you’re sweet, you have a job, and you don’t seem to be mean. You’re a dream for parents-in-law and their sons.”
“Thank you.”
“You really don’t like compliments, do you?”
“They make me embarrassed.”
“Don’t be, you should really accept being so nice and kind. It’s like self-acceptance, you know?” I laughed and he parked.
“Where are we?”
“I decided to bring you to the docs. You’re still my tourist and I love the pronoun ‘my’.” I laughed tense with all those feelings speeches again. We sat on a platform on the docs to see the sea and chat.
“Have you been single long enough for your mommy’s worries?”
“Two years and a half.”
“Phew!”
“That’s not much compared to six years.” I laughed. “I dated Christine for three years and a half. And then we broke up.”
“That must’ve been tough.”
“It was, because the day I asked her to marry me, she was willing to break up after six months hanging out with my best friend.” Whoa, what’s the word to describe that? The woman is “bitchy”, of course. But what about him? “I felt totally like crap.” He said, laughing. “But it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“Doesn’t it? You mean like you forgave them?”
“I was the groom’s best man last year.” I became open mouthed and he laughed. The sunshine was on his hair and he looked like an angel, smiling.
“How could you do it?”
“It takes more time than we, cheated people, think to admit that it is our fault as well. She cheated on me and if I were her I would cheat on me too. I was so into my own world with the kids and stuff that I didn’t even think about her, that she missed me. Once I spent more than two weeks without calling and a month without seeing her. It was really too much. It doesn’t make her actions simpler, but makes my action more important. It’s everyone’s fault.”
“You jerk!” I said, joking and he kissed my nose. I laid on the platform where we were and he laid beside me
“I am not a jerk. My mom said I wasn’t at least.” I laughed loudly. That was rebuilding. “But I recovered. And I have my kids. They mean the world to me.”
“No one since then?”
“Of course I had!” he said, laughing. “I had an affair a month later, a very hot one actually… She was from Spain and she had this Hispanic fire. I lost five pounds in a week!” Oh my God, I shivered!
“I get your point. You see? Men recover in a glimpse. Women take months, years to rebuild.”
“No, there lies your mistake. We, men, after a break-up, find any other woman, the easiest the best, to replace the one that’s gone. After a few time, we realize that we’re empty, lonely and without a real love. It’s when we get the love hangover. We are not bastards. We just face it differently.”
“I never saw on this perspective. It makes everything much clearer to me. How come are you so clarified about people’s minds?”
“Believe me, kid: men’s minds are a pumpkin compared to your obscure mind.” I laughed loudly and kissed his cheek. He hugged me and we stood lied together, watching the sun, the clouds and the sea.
“Is my mind obscure?”
“If I knew anything about it, I’d say something.”
“Ask me then.”
“Well…Let’s think…How many boyfriends?”
“Two.”
“The last one?”
“In 2001.”
“Why did you break up?” I took a breath and thought about a way to answer his question without telling him what happened. It was too difficult for me, to think and talk about my personal life.
“He moved to another place and I couldn’t follow him.”
“That’s sad. What was it like? The relationship, I mean.”
“It was just like heaven. But I don’t like to talk about it much.”
“It’s just fine. We really have to go and have a snack anyway.” He said and we had lunch on a place by the sea. After that, Jamie called me, totally desperate because I wasn’t home yet.
“I have to go, Jamie is getting insane.”
“Fine, I have to go to my job.”
“You’re back?”
“Yes, in two hours I am back to work.” We went back to the hotel, holding hands on the car and listening to old rock CD’s. He left me there, smiling widely. Wasn’t he so lovely?
“You’re home, safe and sane.”
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“What?”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For the amazing night, for taking me to the docs, it’s really perfect there, for being so thoughtful, there are so many things that you are. Thank you.”
“Whenever you need me, just call me. You are a pleasure.” I laughed.
“You really need treatment, .”
“I’ll consider this on Monday. Isn’t on Monday we start things?” I laughed. Time to go.
“When are we going to see each other?”
“I don’t know. When is it gonna be the next shoot?”
“The day after tomorrow I’ll shoot in ‘Scrubs’, the people watching with people watching Liverpool and Milan playing soccer, UEFA final...”
“I can’t go to this one.”
“Oh…it’s ok.”
“But then you’ll have mine.”
“Yes, next Monday.”
“Perfect. I think we’ll only see each other next Monday. I have plenty things to do on the hospital.”
“I comprehend you. I have to rest and to start the edition as well.”
“Right. I’ll see you then.”
“See you.” And he kissed me. I didn’t want to let him go. But I was getting too needy and I would see him two days before going back to USA. Perhaps it would be good to have a little time to think away.

Chapter 05

At my room

“Jamie!”
“At last! Where have you been?”
“I went to the docs with .”
“Oh, would you guys do it, please? I am feeling bored to wait for your sex!”
“We did it.” Jamie stopped. I loved telling him news, he was so attentive. “I had sex with him last night. I don’t like to put it this way, but I know you hate my sentimentalism.”
“I do hate your sentimentalism. But I really love details.”
“He is awesome, Jamie. is totally awesome. His parents are great, he treated me like a princess…”
“And you are so fucking worried about it.”
“For a matter of fact I am. I am going back to USA in few days. I can’t…I couldn’t have…”
“You can. You like him, it’s a fact. Deal with it!”
“How should I? He lives here, in Dublin, I live there, in Chicago. He has his life here. I have my life there. There is no fucking thing to deal with. I can’t go any further.”
“It certainly can! You can’t keep hiding behind your work and your past, ! You have to face you liked the guy and that likes you and that there’s nothing wrong or difficult about it! Be brave and face the facts! ” Fuck, he couldn’t get me, could he?
“The only thing I can face is that I can’t take any more good byes, Jamie. I’ve had enough and I don’t want to like him more and more because I know very well how goodbyes work. And it doesn’t feel good. So, when you wear your judge clothes and start to point my fears as something stupid, try to be in my shoes for once.” I said, locking myself in the restroom – I know it’s not mature – and crying. Well, I liked , even though I knew him for a short time. And I knew that I could fall hard for him and that was potentially problematic. This wasn’t good and I had until Monday, to decide.

Later

I got out of the restroom and Jamie was waiting for me.
“Look, I am sorry, ok? I just don’t get how hard this is for you sometimes. I am not on your shoes and it must be too difficult for you.”
“It is but don’t worry.” We smiled to each other after a powerful hug and then he said:
“Would you tell me details now?”
“Well, he is definitely not fat.”
“I knew that, he is delicious and I want him with butter! How did he approach you?”
“He brought me to the hotel, I got in, took the sandals off, then he knocked on the door, said he hadn’t said goodbye the way he wanted to and before I could ask how did he want his goodbye, he kissed me.”
“Oh My Fucking God! Wild guy this boy…”
“I called him Apollo in the middle of the night, he said.”
“Shit! You were so busted. What did he say?”
“He wants the payment in sex. And I will, humbly, pay. I guess.”
“Honey, you’re so happy, smiling and having fun. Don’t give up on him, take your time, don’t let it go. You deserve to be happy. Promise me you will give him a shot.”
“I’ll try hard.”
“I’ll have to take that. Did you tell him about Jason?”
“No, of course not. I can’t talk with anyone about Jason. And…”
“And what? That explains why you’re like this. Didn’t he ask?”
“Oh, sure, we had this ‘past-partners’ thing. He told me his, and I said Jason had moved to other place and I couldn’t follow him.”
“I totally love your metaphors. You are an incorrigible romantic, Sporty Spice.”

Two days later

I had already decided I would have to have a conversation with him the day I went to his clinic to shoot him with the kids, his kids, as he said. I was completely sure of what I was going to say. Then, I went to shoot at ’s pub, the ‘Scrubs’. It was the last game of UEFA Champions League and the pub was completely crowded. I liked to see it, because people assume an alter ego when they’re watching sports. It’s something to be scared about. After two or three shoots, I sat on the table near .
“Liverpool’s gonna lose and will be sad.” said, expecting I said something like ‘I know, poor , I’ll make it up to him’. Well, I knew and poor . But I wasn’t going to make it up much.
“I am so glad, because I just love Milan and the Italian soccer team. God bless them.” Just a comment: isn’t the Italian soccer team made of God’s sculptures? Dio santo! (Good God!)
“So they are your type of man? I prefer the tiny ones.”
“No, I personally love tall, huge guys, you know? With everything…HUGE!”
“I had horny thoughts…” I had to laugh, thinking about huge things in men. Whatever, the thing is, he said:
“May I say something to you?”
“Sure …” I said, sipping my Guinness (is there another beer this good? Doubt it!)
“I, personally, think you are an amazing person. But you are almost running away from . And it’s not because you don’t like him, but it’s in your eyes you’re scared. I am gay, gay people have male and female points of view at the same time.” I laughed, tense. “If you were a little tenser you’d be a violin thread.”
“, the heart of a woman is a deep mystery. Mine is not different. I have my own issues, my past and it is part of me.”
“Right. Your past is part of you, it just doesn’t make who you are or should be. Don’t lose what you may have because for something that won’t come back. It’s just an advice.” He said, winking and leaving to help a waitress with a table.

I went home feeling awful. I would see on Monday and I would have to have this talk to him. I practiced a stupid speech in front of the mirror. But deep inside, I had the feeling he would be disappointed when I said what I was thinking I was going to say. And for a reason I didn’t want to see those blue eyes sad again.

Chapter 06

Monday

I woke up feeling ready. There is a tiny difference between being happy, sad, worried and ready. I was ready. Or I thought I was. Whatever.
I wore my white outfit and took a cab to his Hospital. When I got there, I called him. I was in the lobby of the hospital and he answered his mobile.
“Doctor ”
“You seem too important; I am coming back to the hotel”
“Aren’t you a good song for my ears? How are you?” Why the fuck men are so nice when we want to break up with them? Why can’t they act like bad boys and be mean, to give us courage?
“I am a white little spot on the lobby waiting for a pediatrician. I have a twisted ankle and a camera.”
“You look terrific wearing white. It makes your bum bigger.”
“!” I was completely blushed, wondering how he knew that.
“I can almost bet you are blushed.”
“Go figure why!” I said, ironic. He laughed on the other side.
“Will you get redder when you turn around and see the flowers I bought you?” I turned around slowly and open mouthed. He carried the most beautiful marigolds I had ever seen. And they are my favorite flowers. I smiled. “Alright, alright, I’ll let you hug me for only…two hours and fourteen minutes!’ I laughed and hugged him. Then I caught my marigolds and asked, shocked:
“How did you know I like marigolds?”
“You have a marigold face.” I laughed. “So, let’s go up there?”
“Already?”
“I want to take a look at this ankle.” He said blinking and who can resist Apollo + Marigolds + Blinking Face? I am not the answer to this question. Damn, how would I say what I had to say?

We went upstairs to his office and then he closed the door and took off my sneakers. Then he picked my ankle.
“Don’t worry, daddy’s back…” And he caressed it.
“It’s way better.”
“Sometimes we name this miracle! You probably didn’t rest for a second.”
“, stop guessing things about my life. Let’s go shooting?”
“Right, right…The kids are waiting.”

We got there and I saw like fourteen kids between four and seven years, running and screaming. I opened up this huge smile.
We started shooting and he was like a dad for those kids. He talked to each and every one, collected himself the blood for exams and put the toys in their places. It was touching. I noticed he had such a good and huge heart and how he loved being there, taking care of them. It was his life and I felt emotional seeing how thoughtful and kind he was. was a dream.
After the shooting, we went to a snack bar to have something.
“So, did you like my job so far?”
“It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done all my life. The kids are awesome and they love you.”
“You bet, it’s like I had fourteen kids. And I am only 27!”
“That was really something.”
“Thank you.”
“You are welcome.” Silence. He looked at me, looked down and sighed.
“This is when you shoot the bad news.”
“What?”
“C’mon, I’ve been trying to pretend I don’t know you have something to tell me. Since the moment I saw you today I knew you are willing to have a conversation. And tell me, aren’t the words: ‘we need to talk’ the worst combination in English? Whatever, shoot, I am a grown up, I can take it.” It was a slap on my face. He parked the car in front of the hotel. I felt claustrophobic and said:
“Let’s get out of the car? I need air.”
“Fine by me.” He said, leaving the car and seating on the bench. I couldn’t sit beside him. “So, here I am waiting for your speech, madam.”
“Don’t be sarcastic, , this is not as easy as it seems.”
“Well, it’s the only way I can make sure you’re being honest: being sarcastic.”
“You’re unfair.”
“It’s not easy to be unfair with you. Not when I feel how I feel. But if you get angry or pissed you’ll be able to say what you want and need to say. Isn’t this the point?”
“I am going back to USA on Wednesday morning.”
“Is this the end of the world? It’s not for me, in case you’re wondering. I know the way to the airport, I know how to find you in Chicago. I know e-mails, phones, mobiles. I have a thousand ways to get to you. And I really wish to. But I’ll wish more if you wish it too.” Damn it, he knew everything I was going to say.
“, I am not sure that I want a serious relationship now.”
“That’s something I didn’t even consider. If you hadn’t told me…” he said, sarcastic and smirking at me. He was so hurt and disappointed. I had to hold my tears. If he knew…
“I have my own issues, my past. And I can’t share it.”
“Oh my fucking God, , cut the crap here, would you? You’re underestimating my intelligence. You don’t WANT to share your life with anyone. It is totally different from not being capable of. And if you weren’t such a hypocrite you would fuck admit you’re just scared.”
“Hey, Mr. Truth-Owner, stop acting like if you knew me for years and as if you were my fucking boyfriend. You don’t and you aren’t! Stop guessing things I think, I like, my favorite flower, my favorite band. It is boring, you are always making more and more difficult to people say what they really want to you, because you’re to kind. Stop being self-indulgent and a know-it-all! You don’t have a clue about my life!”
“Thank you, I’ll put it on a mental note. And I don’t know a thing about your life because you don’t fucking tell me.”
“This is not how I wanted to end this.”
“This is not something I want to end. I really, really, really like you. From head to toes: from your hair, to your feet. But I can’t and I just won’t make you open your eyes and notice that you’re only seeing your life passing.” Silence. I looked down. I was fighting the tears because I wouldn’t cry in front of him. So, as my strength was completely turned to not crying, I didn’t say a word. “I just wanted you to see this is a mistake. Besides, would you quit trying to break up with me? You are always trying to break up with me, and we’re not even together.” He said this phrase from the movie Elizabethtown, that described perfectly our situation, blinking and then he kissed me, gently, on the lips. After that he went to his car and I went to my room, crying my heart out.

Jamie arrived hours later, at night.
“What happened inside here? A fucking tsunami?” The room was filled by tissues, and was really messy.
“It happened. The conversation.”
“Shit, you broke up with him.”
“He said I should quit trying to break up with him. Because I was always trying to and we are not even together.”
“He is a fucking genius. Isn’t this phrase brilliant?”
“This phrase is not his, is from Elizabethtown.”
“That movie you love, I got it. And what did you do?”
“I did what I had to. I can’t lead him into my life. You know how it is messy. It’s too much. And deep inside he wants me, but he doesn’t want the life I have. I can’t do it.”
“You don’t WANT to…”
“Oh, shut up, I can’t take another speech. Pack, please. We’re going back tomorrow morning.”
“Wasn’t it on Wednesday?”
“I changed the date.”
“You are running. I respect that.”
“What about ?”
“Well, I am the boss. I’ll travel here every now and then.”
“I can’t travel now and then.”
“Right, right, let’s pack.”

The airport

For some reason, the day I was coming back to USA, I was trying to find him at the airport. I had this embarrassing hope that he would come to me. It’s really ridiculous, as it was me who called it over.
I entered the plane and took a pill to sleep during the trip. It was tough. I woke up already in Chicago and went to the Universal Studio to start the official production and edition. I dived my head and soul in that work, because that was the last piece of I could have.

Chapter 07

Six months later

I almost called him a thousand times. But the thing is: I didn’t call him, not even once. He didn’t call me either. Jamie went to Ireland a dozen times, I guess. I couldn’t go, for more than one single reason.
The time passed, a little faster than I thought. I blinked and it was 2008 already. It was the première of my documentary and I pretty liked the way it was like, after all the production. I invited some people and Jamie asked for few invitations to give to friends.
I got ready and I was wearing a flowered long dress Jamie had bought me. My hair was loose and straight. And then it was time to answer the questions to all the people there to watch me.
I took a look at the crowd and I saw the guys there. with Jamie, and , and and with his brand new girlfriend . No sign of . Why was I surprised? Silly! Stupid! Why did I keep waiting for the day he would appear again? It was insane, for God’s sake!
The journalists started asking questions, before I properly said something.
“, why did you decide to take this theme?”
“John, to be honest, in my life, I always found the crowd the most amazing thing in the world. There is nothing more pleasure to watch for me than people and soccer games.” They laughed. Good sign. They say you can’t have love and good jobs at the same time. Well, wasn’t there, but the journalists were nice.
“And what about the title?”
“Go out someday and photograph people. You’ll see that our lives are all Polaroids that compose the crowd. And with these comments we’ve put, we try to guess about it. Everyone has its own story, its own personal life. The joy and the sadness are completely individual.”
“How did you find these five guys you found in Dublin?” Oh-oh, mean question!
“Well, I was getting out of the airport in Dublin and I was run over by this car. I passed out, but my only real bruise was a twisted ankle. And then I met this doctor, who run over me, . We talked a little and I was willing to go to the hotel to see the tennis match. He was going to a pub to see it with his friends, , , and , and then we all became friends and they are my helpers.”
“What about , the doctor? Where is he?” I took two or three seconds to answer.
“I am afraid he couldn’t come. He is a doctor, you know how it works…”
“Is it true that you are a widow, ?”
“Yes it is indeed.” I could see the guys looking at me open mouthed. Ha-ha, who could ever guess that, uh?
“For how long?”
“It’ll be seven years this year, on September 11.” Silence, talks and talks, pale people looking at me. See why I don’t tell this to people? They feel pity! “And, before you ask, he died in the WTC disaster. He was a fire fighter, and he was close to the building that day, he died trying to save few people inside the building.”
“Did you have any kids?”
“Not at that time, but I was pregnant. He died without knowing it. Our kid is now five years old and he is completely hidden of the press. I won’t answer any more questions. Let’s see it.” I said, taking my seat. Jamie was beside me. was on the other side.
“Very brave of you assuming it.” Said Jamie.
“I was gonna have to, right? I know they would insist until the end of the days. Better answer it.”
“, for God’s sake, I didn’t know…”
“No one knew, . And don’t look at me with such a face.”
“Where is your kid?”
“Jason is with my mom. I wouldn’t bring him to this kind of thing. He is too young, how would he understand? Besides, he doesn’t deserve it.”
“I am so surprised. Six years without sex are a pumpkin after this. Aren’t you full of surprises?” I laughed and then it started. But, hell, it wasn’t my video. Then, a voice started saying something back on the projecting room.
“Isn’t our cineaste full of surprises herself? I personally think she is amazing. I had the opportunity to shoot with her every single scene you are going to see in a few moments. I am not a cineaste or something close to it. But I took shots of her, because she doesn’t know, but she is the thing I like to watch the most. Even more than soccer games. I tried to find her soundtrack. But it was really difficult. I decided to put two songs then. There you go.”

Come up to meet you, Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, Tell you I need you
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming tails
Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, Come back and hold me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, Chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

A video with all my moments laughing, shooting, talking to people, twirling my hair, watching games, dancing, singing with him on the pub, playing with kids on the hospital, pretending I was a ballet dancer in ’s shoot, giving food to the poor people in ’s shoot, talking to old couples in ’s shoot, talking to Jamie, all the shoots – even in ’s one, where he wasn’t. He wasn’t shooting anything for any science project. He was shooting me.
After Coldplay’s song ended, another one started.

I just want to see you
When you're all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I can't escape
I love you 'till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You don't want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why don't you just take me
Where I've never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you 'till the end

I just want to be there
When we're caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words don't tell me
Cuz all I can say
I love you 'till the end

Now with our moments, me and him; helping me with all my things, taking care of my foot, and I laughing with something, jokes and everything else. He hadn’t shot it himself, this one. But it was really touching; all I wanted to do was give him a hug and promise him I would never be away from him again.
The last scene was a photo, like a Polaroid and the writing above it “I love you till the end”. The crowd almost collapsed and they stood up for clapping their hands. Then, appeared, came to me and hugged me. The lights came down and then my documentary started. We went out of the room for few moments.
“Are you willing to give me a heart attack, ?”
“I am willing to sit beside you, watch you redemption, and you know, maybe going to some place, and get back all those night you owe me.” I laughed. “Why didn’t you tell me what happened to you?”
“I am reserved. And I don’t like to put Jason in the middle of relationships. I will only show him the person I am going to marry, not every single guy that asks me out. He is a child and I can’t put him under this kind of situation. Besides, it’s not every guy who wants to be part of a life like this. They run away or stay with me for pity. I don’t like any of those options. That’s why I keep it as a secret.”
“I comprehend you. And I admire you a thousand times more for raising your kid by yourself, really. I won’t run away, I don’t feel pity.” I smiled. He was a dream, indeed. “But don’t think you’re going to get away with me that easily. I know where you live, where you work, you are famous. All in all, you are never going to be away from me again.”
“Shit, I think I can’t bear it!” I teased him and then he kissed me. “How did you know about my husband and Jason?”
“Last time Jamie went to Dublin I was kinda ten pounds thinner, and, well, being away from you, without news, without talking to you, made me no good. He saw that and after a conversation in private, he explained that you were a widow with a little kid and that you wouldn’t and couldn’t assume a relationship while you weren’t sure about it and that our distance and our careers were definitely something problematic. Then, I took all those shoots of you, all the shoots the guys made of us and put it on this video.”
“I am glad you comprehend me, but our problems are still the same. I love you, but…”
“Would you shut up? I am not done yet! I got a job on Chicago’s Memorial, the chief of the research here, for HIV in kids. My daddy and mommy are coming here next week. I am a Chicago person now.”
“Really? Whoa, I can’t believe it.”
“Now, you have no reason to dump me.”
“Damn, isn’t this a shit?”
“Indeed it is. I have no reason to dump you either.”
“I guess we have to be together.”
“There is no other way.”
“I see.”
“Are you really ok with this?”
“I certainly am. Thank you!”
“What? You think I like you? No, it’s only because you’re famous and I’ll get more chicks.” I slapped his arm and we came back inside.

I can assure you, we are completely happy together. got to know my family and he plays soccer with Jason every Sunday. He’s really got something with kids, Jason totally loves him and so does my family. He kept awake three nights in a row after Jason called him daddy for the first time, for excitement. He called me on the work to tell me. I can say he is like Jason’s father.

, and are our neighbors and we see each other everyday. almost threw a party when we turned official our relationship and he says he wants four more grandsons, besides Jason, that he said it’s his grandson as well. keeps making things for our wedding. They always go to my house on Sundays, too, to have a lunch with my mom and dad. We are a family now and both families are willing to see us married soon. I can’t wait to put the bride outfit and walk down the aisle to the arms of .

proposed me months later, on another premiere of another thing I got to produce, as the first documentary was a total success and got even the Pulitzer. told me that he was willing to propose me at the Pulitzer, but he gave up on it and decided to make premieres a tradition for us. He can’t be discreet when it comes to show his love. I can’t say I don’t like that. He is the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Someday we are going to get married. We don’t like to put things too strict and we are still young: I am 27 and is 28. We can wait for the perfect time for planning the wedding. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve all this happiness. But I do love him and I see I make him happy. So, perhaps, I do deserve being as happy as I am today.

He is a much renowned scientist and doctor now, and he still wants to make his own clinic for kids. He said he wanted four more kids too and I said he wants it because he won’t delivery or breastfeed them. But the idea of a big family turns me on. Perhaps I’ll end up having this bunch of kids.

, , and come up to Chicago every now and then with their families and when mentioned the four kids, kept laughing with horny thoughts, as usual, and ended up saying they would bet on how many kids we would have, wishing luck and wanting to be the godfather of one of them. Jamie is still with and they are willing to get married in London. It’ll be definitely an event, full of champagne!

After all, I can say Dublin really brings good luck. I even got my own Leprechaun there. And I found my happiness. I wondered where I would be if I hadn’t gone to Dublin to shoot my first thing, if Jamie hadn’t got a contract for me with Universal. I don’t know how I would be, because my life just doesn’t make any sense with this huge family I have now and without , the love of my life. He says the same things and I believe him.

There are two lessons to be taken here. First: there is just no harm on being run over (LOL). And second: if you believe in everlasting love, never stop looking. I hope you are as happy as I am with now.

Thank you Dublin!

The End