IRIS
by Bailey

.script by Binha.

|story visited times|

[Challenge March 2009:

Lifer: Mark
Stuff: high heels
Quote: "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." [Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) / Casablanca]
Movie soundtrack: Iris [Goo Goo Dolls / City of Angels]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Staring at the photo from his eighteenth birthday, Mark held a very faint smile. With a finger, he ran it across the glossy picture covered by a clear thin film, touching her face. It felt like a lifetime ago and he wondered where the years had gone. Since then he had aged more than he cared to. He wasn’t the young idealistic boy who had the world at his feet anymore, ready to snatch it up. He had taken the world in his own way and while he was grateful for everything he had been blessed with there was a handful of things he wished he could change. He could use a couple of second chances.
Hearing a key turning in the door in the distance, Mark didn’t need to wait for the voice echoing through the empty house to know who it was. There were only two people who had a key to his place and his mother had most likely gone to bed hours ago.
“Yo, Marky Mark…what’s up man?” Kian morphed his thick Irish accent into a poor imitation of an American one as he strolled into the room.
“I hate when ya call me that.” Mark finally glanced up from the photo to find the slightly older blond strolling into the room.
“Ah, which is why the name sticks.” Grinning, he flopped his body next to Mark on the couch, completely ignoring the multiple choices in seats that weren’t so close. “What are we doin’?”
“Just looking through the birthday album.” Mark flipped the page. It was an album that had been started years ago by , chronicling the same day in every year, the day he had to grow up just a little bit more. Each page contained one photo, the ‘Birthday Picture’. It would be the two of them, simple enough. But what she did with a blank page and a photo was amazing. With the exception of the musical aspect she was by far the most creative out of the pair.
“Oh God, what were you thinking?” Snorting, Kian pointed to a photo of Mark still in the early years when the stylists took too many liberties with them.
He quickly skipped a few years, knowing the fashion choices he had made and been forced into would be ridiculed by the man beside him. Even though, truth be told, Kian had made his fair share of mistakes when it came to outfits as well. As he turned a page his hand was grabbed, forcing him back a year.
“Now that was a good birthday.” Kian pointed a finger to a page and turned his head to find a smile peeking through across Mark’s lips. “By far one of yer best. Don’t know ‘bout you, mate, but it took me nearly a week to recover from it.”
Mark laughed, nodding to himself as he thought back on that year. The twenty-fourth had been one of his better ones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

May 28, 2004
Mark could feel a pair of arms tightening around his neck as she struggled to stay on his back. He was nearly choking as he shook the hotel door handle frantically with no avail. It wouldn’t open and he just couldn’t figure out why.
was giggling uncontrollably as she released her grip for only a moment to point at the door handle and more importantly the key card that was sticking out. “It’s in backwards ya arse!”
It was at that moment that he saw with a pair of blurry eyes the little red arrow on the card pointing straight up with bold letters that he could have sworn said ‘this way you idiot’. He snorted at his drunken stupidity and quickly flipped the card over and inserted it correctly. It took a few more clumsy attempts to shake the door before it suddenly fell open and the two of them in turn fell in as well. They landed in a heap on the suite floor, Mark face down. was laughing hysterically as she rolled off his back to her own spot on the carpet.
After recovering from a hard fall, Mark was trying to count the number of drinks he had consumed over the night as he crawled across the floor to a king size bed in the dark. By the time he had got there he was up to fifteen or fifty-one, he wasn’t quite sure. He always seemed to see his numbers backwards when he was drunk. He decided on fifteen as he finally found himself lying on his back because if it were the latter he probably wouldn’t be alive at that moment.
He stared straight up at a dark ceiling trying to make out the little spots of spackle above him and smiled a drunken smile when it lit up right after he heard the sound of a palm slapping the wall and what was probably the light switch. Soon after, Mark wasn’t sure how soon seeing how time seemed to blur together, he felt the bed shake under him when flopped back on it. With his eyes still looking straight up, he blinked a few times, trying to get the image of the small dots moving in tiny circles out of his head. It was making him queasy.
“The rooms’ a spinnin’.” Mark mumbled as he felt his eyes cross unwillingly.
“That ain’t the room, it’s the Jäger.”
“Jäger…” Mark moaned and placed both his hands on his head, trying to control his shaky vision. Why had he ever allowed Shane to order shot after shot of the thick liquor? It came to be something he regretted all night and for two days afterwards. “I HATE the Jäger.”
laughed at the noises of a man in pain and rolled to her side, placing her head on a hand to prop it up. Mark could feel her staring at him and had it not been for the feeling in his stomach that told him not to, he would have assumed the same position.
“Kian asked me out AGAIN.” She let out a heavy sigh as if an attractive man requesting a date was such a burden.
“Course he did.” He chuckled.
This was sort of a bi-yearly thing. It was no secret what Kian’s feelings were for Mark’s best friend. It had been the same since the day she filled out a bra and Kian finally hit puberty. , unfortunately for Kian, would never have anything to do with him other than being strictly friends. And for awhile this was exactly how Mark liked it, no one messed with his girl. But after a while the fair-haired man’s persistence wore down one of them…Mark.
“You should say yes one of these days. He fancies the…the…” Mark’s brain came to a standstill and he struggled to come up with the proper phrase. “the…skirt…off ya, or pants.”
“God no.” He could feel her roll back, staring up at the same ceiling he was.
“Why not? Ya need a man. Ki’s a man.” He shut his eyes, hoping to get the image of a spinning room out of his head. As soon as the light was blocked out it was his stomach that began to spin and he felt something bubbling up inside causing him to open his eyes before anything drastic happened.
“I have no need for a boyfriend. You give me all the love and affection I’ll ever need and I never have to worry about a break-up.”
“Awww, I love ya too, .” Mark slurred. There was silence for a moment as both tried hard to concentrate on not puking. Finally it was him to break it. “I think Ki would be satisfied with a simple shag, ya know?”
rolled her head to the side and in turn Mark did as well. She stared at him for a moment before letting out a drunken snort. He did the same and soon both were forced to wipe tears from their eyes over the laughter.
“I bet he’s a fantastic lay.” She finally admitted out loud. She would be lying if she said the thought never crossed her mind. The way he moved on a stage, let’s just say she understood why him and the rest of the boys had screaming fans night after night while on tour. He just happened to be one of hers and more importantly one of Mark’s oldest and closest friends. Having a relationship that would only end somewhere down the road put her friendship with Mark in jeopardy, and that was something she wasn’t willing to risk.
“Shall I give him a ring then?” Mark began patting his pants down in hopes of finding a cell phone hidden inside one of his pockets. He was shocked when he had actually found it in the state he was in and pulled it out quickly to wave it over her head. Just as fast as he had found it, the phone was snatched away.
“If you EVER tell him I said that, I’ll kill ya, Feehily!” held the cell phone across the bed, knowing Mark was far too tired and drunk to go after it.
“The Jäger makes no guarantees.” He made a half-ass effort to get it back, swinging a long arm into the air only once.
“I swear, Mark…you tell him and I tell everyone how you REALLY got a hole in Shane’s boxers!”
Mark gasped. “You wouldn’t!” The two of them had many a blackmail tool on the other and some of those little secrets could do some serious damage.
“Try me.” said simply and began blinking as she attempted to navigate through the small phone that was lit up before her face now.
If there was one thing he knew, it was her. And he knew without a doubt that when she made a threat she would make good on it if need be. He kept his mouth shut, partly from fear and partly from the fact that the muscles in his mouth were laced with alcohol at the moment. There was silence in the room apart from little buttons being pressed and it was a few minutes later before raised the phone in the air above them and a tiny light was shining in his face.
“Birthday picture!” Wiggling across the covers, she situated her head so it was brushing up against his and made sure he was smiling before she began a countdown. “One…three…two!”
“Provolone!” Both Mark and began giggling uncontrollably as she snapped a blurry picture. It was uncanny how no matter how intoxicated both of them were their minds were in the exact same place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Mark turned a page to move on to another year and another memory he could feel a small twitch in the corner of his eye. He found himself examining a white page with colorful block lettering spelling out ‘YEAR 28’. It was one of her better artistic creations; she had obviously spent her time on it. Each letter was carefully drawn out with perfect little stars and moons around the border. That was that year’s theme, stars and moons.
He drew in a long slow breath, refusing to glance down where he knew he would be met with a blank space. That year there had been no birthday picture. That year had been the end of a long tradition.
“I shouldn’t have let her go.” Mark said softly, mostly for his own benefit.
“It was her decision.” Kian’s voice was equally as soft, as if he wasn’t sure he should speak at all.
“No, I should have stopped her.” Swallowing back emotion, he shook his head. He was certain he could have kept her from leaving, he knew it. He had lost the only woman he could honestly say he had ever loved, with the exception of his mother. “What I wouldn’t give for a second chance…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

May 28, 2008
Stepping into the foyer of an impressive house, Mark tossed a set of keys at the wall hoping for a miracle. He watched in anticipation as the shiny metal keys flew towards a hook where they should have attached themselves. He laughed at his stupidity however when he missed by nearly a mile and it hit the wall and subsequently fell to the ground with a thud.
“!” He called out through the large house and walked towards a lit room down the hall. “Where’s me lil’ sicko?”
Before he could make it the entire way she appeared in the doorway, her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail with strands falling out around her face. He had to suppress a laugh when he found her wearing a pair of his plaid pajama pants which were about five sizes too big. They hung from her small frame, tied tight by a drawstring and rolled down at her waist.
“Awww, ya dressed up for me.” He cooed which only earned him a tired glare.
“What did ya expect, a formal gown?” voice was on the raspy side, a side effect of the second half of a nasty cold.
“At least a pair of those heels.” Mark pointed to her feet which were covered by a pair of green fluffy slipper socks.
Shaking her head in a laugh, she ignored the suggestion to put on a pair of painful shoes. leaned into the door frame when she felt herself become weak from standing for more than a few minutes. “What are you doin’ home so soon? It’s not even ten yet. You should be out with the lads.”
“Didn’t think I’d spend the tenth anniversary of my eighteenth birthday without ya, did ya?” He responded with a smirk and stretched out an arm to rest it against the wall next to her. As he did he leaned in and gave her a quick peck, followed by a second and a third. And those resulted in an assault of friendly kisses covering her face.
“You reek of whiskey!” Giggling, she placed her hands on his chest and gave him a gentle push to rid herself of the attack. She pulled a face as the scent of the heavy liquor that worked its way into the senses that only recently began to come back to her.
“I only had a few when I realized I can’t possibly drink on me birthday without me best friend.” Mark broke out in a grin. “So here I am and sick or not you shall drink with me.”
“I don’t care for whiskey.” She didn’t even bother refusing. She knew what Mark wanted today, Mark would get.
“Fair enough. You’ll have wine while I enjoy the whiskey.”
stared at him for a moment as if she was contemplating saying no. “While that is a fantastic idea, birthday boy, you have no wine in the house. You and I killed it all last time Kian came over and forced us to sit through that horrible action movie marathon.”
“Ey, yer right.” Mark pointed a finger at her before turning around, almost spinning on his heel and began marching down the hall.
“Where are you goin’?” She yelled after him.
“To get us some more of course.” He called back over his shoulder.
“No. No. No.” Mark could hear the soft patter of her socks against the wood floor and he knew she was chasing him down. “You’ve been drinking, yer not driving anywhere.”
“You forget we’re Irish men.” Bending down once he reached the foyer, he snatched up the keys from the ground and turned back to find her sliding towards him in her socks. “I can handle my liquor.”
“You Irish men are also delusional and stubborn.” held out her hand, indicating she expected the set of keys to be placed in her palm shortly.
“But our night can’t held so early.” Mark pushed out his bottom lip in a pout. “And ya can’t let me drink on my own…that’s just sad.”
“Who said that?” Realizing he wouldn’t just hand them over, she quickly snatched them from his hands. “I’ll go instead.”
“Looking like THAT?” He let out a hearty laugh as she now continued his march towards the door for him. She was still decked out in something a normal woman would not be caught dead in public in.
“Yup. And if anyone looks at me funny I’ll make sure they know that I’m with you. That way tomorrows gossip headline will be, ‘Mark Feehily takes in hobo’.”
“Ya, a hobo that can’t afford a pair of shoes.” He pointed to her shoeless feet.
“Oh right.” She giggled as she walked up to a pair she had set next to the door and stuffed her feet into some sneakers. “If you hadn’t told me I probably would have gone without them. This cold medicine does wonders.”
“See, yer also under the influence. Let me go, it’s not safe for you to operate heavy machinery.” Mark cut the distance between them to meet up with her as she placed a hand on the door knob.
“Do I look like an idiot?” asked as she pulled the door open, giving him a glare when he let out a snort. “Don’t answer that. Whiskey trumps any sort of cold meds. So stay here and pour yourself another glass. I’ll only be gone a bit.”
Holding out an arm, Mark leaned against the open door and let out a heavy sigh. Not only were Irish men stubborn but so was his female counterpart. “Fine, but hurry back.”
“I will.” She rose on her toes to give his nose a quick kiss before turning around and walking into the dark night.
“I take that back, drive slow…very slow!” He watched as she made a b-line to the brand new car he purchased as a personal birthday present. Of course she would take that one. “That’s my baby yer about to drive!”
“Yes, yes…I know! I’ll take good care of her.” She yelled out without bothering to turn around.
Once was at the car and unlocking it with a touch of a button he yelled out one last thing as she opened the door. “Love ya!”
“Love ya too.” She returned the sentiment just as she slid in and shut the shiny door behind her.

placed a bottle of wine on the counter and pulled a second out that had been tucked under her arm to place it next the first. She gave the gentleman manning the small liquor store a friendly smile and prayed he didn’t think she was some girl who just wondered off the street from her attire.
“How are ya this evening, miss?” The man with a thinning head of salt and pepper hair asked in his thick accent as he began ringing up her sale.
“Fantastic, thank you.” She flipped open a wad of cash she was thankful had been stuck in the glove compartment of the car. It was just like Mark to leave his money stashed away after only a few days of owning the vehicle. He was a firm believer of an ‘in case of emergency’ fund.
“Will this be all?”
Looking to her selection of wine, decided it would be in her best interest to pick up something for Mark as well. Last time she raided his bar she noticed he was half a bottle down of his favorite drink and knowing him it wouldn’t last.
“Actually, if you don’t mind I think I might need a bottle of whiskey. Can you hold these for a moment?”
“Course, love. Whiskey’s third aisle at the end.” He pointed in the direction she would need to head and she gave him a quick thank you as she headed that way.
Once picking up the largest bottle in his favorite brand, made her way back to the front as she thought of how she would make sure she presented it to him as a birthday present. She was laughing to herself because in fact he would be paying for it himself and she was trying to hide a giggle when she rounded the corner of the aisle and noticed another customer had come in. A taller man with broad shoulders stood at the counter with his back to her, a navy hooded sweatshirt covering his head. She stood a few feet behind him and inspected the label to her bottle as she allowed him to go about his purchase. was completely oblivious to the hushed conversation and was lost in her own little world until a few words caught her attention.
His voice was rough and rose a few decimals as he appeared to become agitated. “Just open the till, mate. Do it now.”
Looking up quickly, ’s eyes grew when she found a long arm extended towards the man behind the register and at the end of that arm was a shiny silver handgun. Out of shock from finding herself a witness of an armed robbery the bottle in her hands slipped from her grasp and began its descent to the floor. The sound of glass crashing near her feet was deafening and caused a chain reaction like no other.
As little shards of the brown glass began scattering and the heavy liquor pooled by her sneakers the robber turned quickly. It was as if time moved at a painfully slow pace when she saw the gun once directed towards the shop keeper now staring back at her. felt as if she could see right into the barrel as the trigger was pulled out of pure instinct and could have sworn she saw the gun working, a bronze bullet beginning its journey from a fiery explosion. What felt like ten minutes in fact happened in only a few seconds.

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

One decision, one choice resulted in a deadly consequence. Who knew what could have happened had she not turned at the last minute to pick up another bottle of alcohol. If she had only purchased the two bottles of wine she had come in for she might have only been a mere witness to a smooth hold-up. The money could have been handed over and no one would have been hurt. But instead breaking glass had startled the would-be robber and in turn a life had been taken. It’s funny how one simple action can change the course of many lives.
And it had, many lives had changed that night. While one was lost another practically ended, or so it felt. Mark always knew she was his entire world, he knew it from an early age when they became the best of friends. He just didn’t know how true it was once she was gone. Something in him died with her the moment she was shot. It was as if he was broken. No tears were shed because he just couldn’t, there were only a few moments of fiery anger.
After that night he was only seen in public a few times. Once for her service he had been dragged by to Kian and the other boys and another for the trial of the man who took her away from him. That he had insisted on going to, he wanted to see the face of the killer. He wanted to do much more to that face. Mark was nearly sent to jail along with him after the verdict was read and there was a small window of opportunity. It was a blur, a blackout almost as he leapt towards the man, taking him down in one quick movement. He literally had to be pulled from his nearly lifeless body as he released the anger that had been bottled up inside of him. The shooter was a bloody mess and unconscious as Mark was dragged away screaming obscenities and threats in a daze.
Yes, he was broken without her. He wasn’t the Mark he used to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It should have been me.” Mark stared at the blank spot where a picture should have been. “I should have gone instead.”
“Mark…” Kian began but was quickly silenced.
“No, Ki, I had a feeling her going was wrong…I knew it. Why I let her take the keys I still can’t figure out.” He shook his head slowly, replaying that fateful night over and over again in his mind.
“You can’t blame yerself. This wasn’t yer fault.”
“It was.” Mark finally looked up to his friend. “It was my fault. I just wish I could go back to that moment and go instead of her. I could have saved her.”
Kian watched in silence as Mark dropped his head defeated into his hands. He rested his forehead on two palms as he stared down at the floor below him. Kian had no words, nothing he could say would take away his friend’s pain. He and the others had been trying for a year now with no positive outcome. Nothing seemed to help.
The two of them sat there in perfect silence, nothing but the sound of a soft wind beating against the house could be heard for quite some time. It was Kian that finally broke the peace.
“I brought ya something.”
Mark looked up from his hands to find him pointing at the coffee table before them. A cupcake with light blue frosting sat next to the still open album and he cocked his head to study it. He didn’t remember it being carried in, it was like it appeared out of nowhere.
“What is it?” He asked, confused as to why a baked item would be brought to him.
“Birthday cupcake of course.” Raising his hips just a bit, Kian slipped a hand into his back pocket to retrieve a lighter which he flicked on and lit the candle that was sticking out of the sugary frosting. “Every year you get one wish. Couldn’t let ya miss out on it.”
Mark watched as the cupcake was pushed before him and he stared at the red and yellow flame that seemed to be looking straight at him. It danced in his eyes and he was forced to be reminded that it was a year ago today the tragedy had occurred.
“Go ahead.” Kian pointed towards it. “Make it count.”
There was only one wish he had. One thing he had prayed for every single day for the past year. It was to go back, to have a second chance. As he shut his eyes, Mark blew softly over the candle and could feel it extinguish sending a cloud of smoke into the air and with it his wish.

And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

May 28, 2008
“You Irish men are also delusional and stubborn.” held out her hand, indicating she expected the set of keys to be placed in her palm shortly.
“But our night can’t end so early.” Mark pushed out his bottom lip in a pout. “And ya can’t let me drink on my own…that’s just sad.”
“Who said that?” Realizing he wouldn’t just hand them over, she quickly threw her arm out to snatch the set of keys from his hands. “I’ll go instead.”
Even though her actions were quick, in her medicine state it wasn’t quick enough. Mark anticipated the snatch and grab and stuck his arm up and over both their heads before she could. The keys dangled over head and he laughed when she tried to jump up and retrieve them.
“There is no way in hell I’m letting ya drive my new car on Nyquil.”
“Like you driving half pissed is any better?” She asked and huffed when another attempt to the steal the keys went unrewarded.
“I’ve done this drive plenty of times, I could do it blinded if need be.” Quickly sticking his arms behind his back and the keys in a tight fist, Mark began backing up towards the door. “And I can’t let ya go out lookin’ like that.” He nodded his head towards her. “I can’t risk someone recognizing ya as me friend.”
“Yer a jerk.” crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a long hard glare.
“Ya, ya…I know. Now go make yerself a cup of tea and I’ll be back before ya even missed me.” He waved an empty hand towards the direction of the kitchen before opening the door.
“I swear to God, Feehily. If you get in an accident I’ll never forgive ya. Drive carefully!” yelled out to the dark night as she watched him making his way to a shiny new car.
Mark turned to smile at her as he kept walking backwards. “Don’t worry, I always do. Love ya!”
She rolled her eyes when she saw him blowing her a kiss and laughed. “Love ya too.”
Her warning fell on deaf ears and Mark made the short drive through back streets in record time. He had to test the engine of his new toy after all and it handled like a dream. His money had been well spent.
With a brown bag filled with wine and whiskey tucked under his arm, Mark stuffed his change into his jeans and pushed the glass door open. As he did he could see a figure emerging from the dark, making their way to the small liquor store. Before the door could swing shut, he held it open for the other customer and nodded to the man as he pulled a navy hood over his head.
“Thanks, mate.” He said with a nod in return and slipped past him and entered the shop.
As he let the door close shut, Mark retrieved his set of keys and glanced back behind his shoulder to see the other man taking a direct route to the cashier. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who needed a late night bottle. He swung the key chain around his finger once before he pointed it towards his car, pressing a tiny button to unlock its doors. He couldn’t wait to return hope to prove wrong, all had gone smoothly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kian made his way through a dark hallway, not a single light was turned on in the large house. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light and he was relieved that he knew the space fairly well. He called out a name into the darkness, hoping for a response but wasn’t surprised when he did not receive one.
Entering the living room of Mark’s house he found her. sat on the couch, her head down staring at an open album before her. Her shoulders were hunched over and he took a step closer to find them shaking just a bit.
“?” He said softly. His heart broke when her head rose slowly to reveal a flushed face. Hour’s worth of tears were streaming down her cheeks making it hard to distinguish between old and fresh ones. “Awww, …”
With a pair of blurry eyes, she watched as Kian rounded the coffee table, shaking his head as he took a seat next to her on the couch. Within seconds his strong arms were around her and she fell into him, sobbing. She wasn’t sure how long she had spent staring at an unfinished page in the album, but it was long enough to lose track of time and her senses.
“Shh…” He tried to comfort her as she cried into his chest, running his fingers through her hair slowly. “It’s alright, yer okay.”
He held onto her tight as her small body shook in his arms. He just allowed her to get it out and they sat there for as long as it took. Slowly but surely her shoulders began to still and her breathing fell into a more steady rhythm. Still she clung to his shirt, needing someone, anyone to hold onto.
looked up to find a pair of blue eyes staring back at her. She wiped away tears from one of her eyes with the palm of her hand and let out another sob. “Why…why’d I let him go?”
“It’s not yer fault, love.”Kian said softly. This was a conversation that wasn’t new to him but it hurt each time none the less.
“It was, it was my wine.” Her bottom lip began to tremble again as she raised her eyes to the ceiling, hoping to fight a new batch of tears.
“There’s no way you could have know it would happen.”
“But he’d been drinking…” Every reason to take those keys from Mark that night had floating through her head for longer than she could remember.
“And he was stubborn. He wouldn’t have given them over.” Kian countered.
“I should have tried harder…” ’s eyes fell to the birthday album open to the unfinished year and quickly shut it. She couldn’t bear to remind herself of the tragedy any longer.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

May 28, 2008
Mark expertly maneuvered the sports car over the yellow lines into the other lane to pass a slower car. He was once again testing its moves and switched gears once back in the proper lane to pick up speed. It was a rush.
He was smiling when he heard his mobile phone ringing from deep inside his pants pocket. He lifted off the seat to stick his hand inside the jeans and began digging around for the small phone. When he found it he pulled it out quickly, so quickly in face it came slipping from his fingers and fell to the floor below his feet.
When Mark glanced down he could see ’s name flashing in a bright blue light beside his shoe and he looked up to the road to make sure all was clear before dropping his head back down. With one hand on the wheel he stuck his arm to the small space below and wrapped his fingers around the phone was quickly as possible. But it wasn’t fast enough, just as he reached it the call became missed and he grunted in annoyance.
With his eyes still on the phone, he flipped it open and began pushing the small buttons to give her a call back. He decided she probably wanted him to stop at the store for some more tea or some other sort of cure all trick when he placed it against his ear and finally brought his eyes back to the road.
As soon as he was looking out a clear windshield he was met with a blinding light. Mark’s jaw fell open when two white beams stared back at him and it was at that moment he realized he had drifted over into the other lane. But it was far too late. Even if his reflexes were quick enough to react he wouldn’t have been able to maneuver the car out of the way fast enough.
So there he was staring straight into the white lights he assumed had only been metaphorical. His final thoughts were that of , about how he felt bad for what he knew the outcome would be. And for some reason he wasn’t scared, it was as if he knew this moment would come. He knew this was how it should be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A candle was lit and Kian held up a small cupcake up to with a half smile. She looked at it carefully and curled up her eyebrows in confusion.
“What’s this for?” She asked slowly.
Kian watched her face lit by the light of the candle and placed the frosted treat in her hands. “It’s so you can make a wish. I’m sure that in his absence Mark would have wanted you to do it for him.”
sat back and stared at the flame quietly. It was a silly idea, making a wish for dead friend but at the same time she felt it brought him back for even a moment. She searched her head for a wish and immediately came up with one.
With her eyes still fixed on the flame she raised the cupcake and held it before her, drawing in a breath. Before she could release it and make the wish she heard a voice from across the coffee table and she held that breath.
“Don’t do it.” Looking up, she nearly dropped the cupcake when she found Mark sitting on the couch across from her.
“Mark…what…?” wasn’t sure she could trust her eyes and felt her voice stuck in her throat.
“I know what you plan on wishing for, and I’d rather you didn’t.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and gave her a small smile.
“But…I was going to wish for a second chance…” She swallowed back a tear. “I could save you.”
“Yes, you would save me. But I’d lose you in the process and that , is something I don’t want.” He looked at her intently, his blue eyes piercing through her. “I had my second chance. I made my decision and I’m sticking by it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Remember when I said I’d do anything for ya?” He watched as she nodded slowly. “That’s what I’m doing. So I ask you not to make that wish…I already got mine.”
looked from him to the candle which was slowly melting away. A small drop of wax formed near the top and threatened to fall to the icing below. “What do you want me to wish for then? It’s your birthday.”
Mark thought it over for a moment and chuckled to himself before responding. “I wish for you to finally accept a date from Kian. It’s about time, ya know?”
She shook her head and laughed at him. That was so Mark, using his last wish for her instead of himself. “I don’t know. It could be anti-climatic this date.”
“You won’t know until you try. Like ya said, he could be a fantastic lay.” Both of them laughed and he pointed towards the cupcake. “Off you go, make my wish.”
Closing her eyes, drew in that breath again and slowly released it, blowing over the flame. She could feel it extinguish and when she opened her eyes she found the room dark again and the couch opposite her empty.
“What did ya wish for?” She remembered she was in fact not alone when she heard Kian beside her and she turned her head to him.
“Can’t tell you, it’s between Mark and I.”
“And I suppose it wouldn’t come true if you let it slip, ey?” He smiled at her when she nodded and her lip curled up as well. Finding a stray hair that had fallen across her face, Kian reached out a hand and gently moved it and tucked it behind her ear. And with his hand still at her face he brushed his thumb across the soft skin of her cheek, wiping away a left over tear.
She found herself staring at him, his soft eyes looking at her with such care it nearly broke her heart. Gone was the boy who constantly tried to get her in bed or let out cat calls anytime she would enter the room in a skirt and heels. All that was left was a man, a man who had been there for her when she felt as though she had no one. A man her best friend not only approved of but also used a final wish to push her towards.
“Kian?” She whispered as he retracted his hand but remained close.
“Ya?” He asked in her same hushed tone.
“Ask me out again.” made the request before she could talk herself out of it and watched his face curl up in confusion.
“’Scuse me?”
“Please ask me out.” She repeated.
“Okay…” He tried not to laugh at the odd request and asked her slowly. “Can I take you out sometime?”
“Yes.” She answered quickly before she his mouth was even shut.
“Really?” Kian was shocked, unsure if he even heard her correctly.
“Yes.”
“Right. Okay.” Looking around and then back to her he wondered if this might be a joke and laughed. “Shall we go now?”
looked down over the old pair of pajamas she wore and placed her hands on her head, smoothing out her hair that she was certain looked quite tragic. “Can I have half an hour to beautify myself?”
“…” Kian looked at her warmly and placed his hands over hers to remove them from her hair. “You’re gorgeous…always are.”
She could feel her cheeks warm as a blush took over her entire face. In slow motion watched as he moved in and with a smiled placed a kiss on her forehead. And she felt it linger as he pulled away slowly and leaned in once more to place a second even gentler kiss on her lips. It was innocent and nothing like she had expected.
But nothing in life can be expected. Little actions and the smallest changes can bring you to a point in your life you never thought you would be. One decision and a second chance. Sometimes it’s all you need to turn a life around.

And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Sooner or later its over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls

THE END