MAYBE TOMORROW
by Lia

.script by Mirelle.

|story visited times|

Chapter
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Chapter 01

It was another common day in ’s life. She woke up really early, prepared the breakfast for her and her kid, . After that, she took a shower and woke up. He was a six-year-old gorgeous kid, , huge eyes and red cheeks. He yawned and smiled to his mom.
“Hey mommy! Good morning.”
“Hey sweetie. Get up now and get dressed, else you’re gonna be late to school, ok?”
“Ok mom.” In a few moments he was already dressed, with his school uniform, having breakfast. His hair was a bit messy and then caught up a comb and started combing it.
“Hey cowboy, you combed it wrongly!” She joked and he laughed. “Good waffles?”
“Awesome as usual, mommy!” He said, putting more honey on it.
“Thank you. Don’t you put that much honey on your waffles!” She said, having lots of fun. Each and everyday he seemed to put more on the waffles. It was just like his daddy….
“Oh mom, I love it…Please, please…”
“OK…” he finished having it and then she said: - “Now, brush your teeth and let’s go down to wait the school bus; it will pass in a few minutes.” And then he ran to the restroom and after brushing his teeth he went down with his mom.
“Mommy…”
“Yeah .”
“Well, do you think that daddy will send me a letter soon?”
“I don’t know…” she answered, trying to avoid the daddy’s subject.
“It’s been two months since I wrote the last letter. I miss him so much… I wanted to see him again. Can’t we go to visit him?” he made up a sad face and she bent down and said, looking into those eyes.
“Yeah I know you miss him…” she said. “Well, you know how life is with his work…Maybe it’s just lack of time, ok? You know how much he loves you and how he cares about ya. You’ll see him soon… I promise.” nodded, smiling and then the bus arrived. “Look, it’s your bus!” She kissed his cheek and he went to the school. After that, she got to the place where she worked in the morning, a dinner.
“Hello !” She said. was the owner of the place and ’s best friend.
“Hello . What’s up today? You look like if you had nausea or something…”
“Well, wants to see his daddy again.”
“Shit…does he?” nodded. “Well…what will you do?”
“I really don’t know…”
“How long haven’t you seen him?”
“You mean ?” nodded. “I don’t see him since a long, long time. Since I left home I guess. I didn’t see him even in the divorce; I sent everything by my lawyer, except by the first meeting…Awful…It’s been six years or so I guess. But he saw last Christmas, remember? went to his grandma’s house and stayed there….”
“Sure I do. And he came back with so many new clothes and toys that you didn’t know how to fit it into your place.” - And laughed. And when remembered the scene, she laughed as well. “But, back to the subject, wants to see daddy again and that’s the big problem, right??”
“Yeah. If you had seen his face, telling be that daddy didn’t write him back the last letter…God! It broke my heart! I was so used with the letter thing between them and the visits to his daddy that I wasn’t expecting that…”
“Why don’t you call and ask him to answer ’s letter and ask his mom to pick up for a weekend or holiday or something?” suggested happily, while they worked and helped the clients.
“Oh, I’d rather die a thousand times, with Chinese torture than call him, less to ask him something. Even if it is for and is his son. I can deal with the situation without having to listen to his voice.”
“Whoa…Ok then…” - Silence. A few breakfasts later, came back to talk to her. “You really don’t wanna see him, do ya?”
“I don’t want even to hear his name, imagine seeing him.”
“My goodness… I will hide the paper of ya again.”
“Don’t tell me… Another number one?”
“You bet, a nice song though… And I’m gonna turn off the radio as well.”
“Westlife special again?” nodded and they laughed. What else could she do? It was a funny situation: she had a son with a singer of the most famous boyband ever and lots of things happened. But she just couldn’t help it: he was in papers, TV, radio. But when she saw it was about Westlife, she turned the radio, TV or anything similar off. She didn’t want to see him. Period. After all that time, it was kinda automatic already.
“Well, let’s work little lady, because the thing is burning here today!” And that day, they had really loads of work. But didn’t keep away that problem of her mind. What was she going to do about the daddy thing? She thought about that a lot and decided that, if the letter didn’t arrive in two days, she’d call him. After she decided that, she went to pick her kid up from school.
“Hey mommy!” He said hugging her. “How was your day?”
“It was just empty without my little cowboy!” She joked rubbing his hair. He laughed. “What about yours?”
“Well, today I learnt how to see hours on the clock!” He already knew how to read and write.
“Really?” He nodded, proud. “Why did ya tell me that, cowboy? Now you’re going to be my cuckoo! I’m gonna ask you the hours minute to minute to see my baby seeing hours on the clock!!” He laughed and they got home. “Now go take your shower. I’m gonna leave you at Aunt ’s and I’m going to the College.” She was almost graduating in Literature and Linguistics. When she graduated, she was going to work as a high school teacher.
took a shower and put his jeans and his Manchester T-shirt his daddy gave him. Then he heard the postman putting the letters on the box.
“Mommy! May I …?”
“Sure you do honey.” And then he ran to see if the letter arrived. She wished it had a letter, for not to be sad about his father. And when he got in again, she noticed it had. His eyes were sparkling and he had a huge smile on his face.
“HE SENT ME A LETTER!!!”
“Great … Now read it while I get your things for us to go to ’s.” she was at his room, tense about the letter but happy for her kid when he came running inside the room, and he looked the happiest person ever.
“MOMMY, MOMMY!!! DADDY IS COMING, DADDY IS COMIIIIIIIIIING!” she was carrying one of his toys and she dropped it.
“WHAT?” She was pale and shaking. It couldn’t be…
“He says on the latter that he is on vacation now and that he is coming up to the city to spend his vacation here with me. HE IS COMING MOMMY!”
“Are you serious?” she caught the letter and saw that he was really coming…And the following day! “Oh God damn it! I cannot believe it… Shit!”
“Mommy, don’t curse! That’s wrong!”
“I know, sorry honey…Let’s go to ’s, ok?”
“Are you OK mommy?” she nodded. “You don’t look very well…”
“I’m fine. Let’s go, else mommy is gonna be late to school today.” and they got to ’s.
“Hey gorgeous…What’s up?” asked .
“My daddy is coming Auntie !” looked at ’s face and noticed that she was not well at all. And for obvious reasons.
“Is he? When?” she looked up and down, to and , without knowing how to act, it was such a shock!
“Tomorrow! He sent me a letter! Isn’t it AWEEEEEEEEEEEEESOME?”
“Sure it is honey… Now get in, I’ve made up popcorn for us.” and he ran inside. “What the fuck did he say, I mean…?”
“Well, it’s true. He is coming tomorrow. And I am as calm as you may imagine, my friend.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing! What can I do? Hide myself? Leave them alone? would be disappointed if I did that, he was already planning the whole days: how we will go to the lake together, watch the soccer game together and see movies together…damn!"
“And tomorrow is Sunday, you won’t even work… Thanks God it’s just for a day.”
“No, it isn’t. The son of a bitch will spend his VACATION in here.”
“You gotta be kidding me!”
“I wish it was just a bad dream…HEY! IF IT’S A DREAM WAKE UP NOW!”
“Oh Lord… And how are you feeling…This heart here…?” – She asked seriously.
“Seeing him again…. After all these years… I can’t take it. I mean… I’m gonna have to, right? For , I can cope with everything.”
“I feel awful about ya…. But what does he got on his head to show up like that? I mean…after all that happened, he should be more…”
“Well, he is not that good with this, he must do and that I know for quite a long time. So anything of his damn games surprises me.” – She was still too hurt by what he had done. And she really had a point on that.
“C’mon…what if he changed?”
“This is as possible as the sun turns into ice!”
“Well, I don’t know… People change.”
“They do, but he is the exception to the rule. will always be the same immature selfish son of a bitch.”
“If you’re saying…”
“I am still shaking about it… And is so happy…I can’t break that up you know?”
“I got ya… Let’s wait, maybe there’s a way for you not to see him.”
“Which is…becoming invisible, right?” And they laughed. After that, she went to the college and near 10 pm, picked up and he couldn’t even sleep as he was really anxious to see his daddy. When it was near midnight, he fell asleep. But stood awake the whole night. In a certain way, it’d be good to see him. So she’d know if she was still in love. After years without even hearing his voice, how would it feel to see him again?

Chapter 02

The next morning

She prepared the breakfast as usual, but this time, with another plate. It was weird to see the table like that whit three plates.
She put the waffles and the pancakes on the table and woke up. He was radiant! After taking shower, he put his best clothes and combed his hair perfectly. When he saw his mommy in a flowered dress, and her usually-combed-in-a-ponytail-now-loose hair, really different from usual, he said:
“You look like a queen mommy!”
“Awww… Thanks cowboy…” she answered a bit tense. “What time is he going to arrive?” She asked, because she was really in doubt if she wanted him to come or if she didn’t want to.
“He said he would be here around 10 o’clock. Does he know where we live?”
“I’m sure he does.”
“I’m so excited mommy!” And he clapped his hands.
“I can see it in your eyes honey. Now turn on the radio, for us to relax while he does not come.” turned it on and it was playing…. Amazing, Westlife’s new great success! She looked up ironically, like if she was asking God how he could do such things.
“This is daddy’s new song mommy…!”
“Yeah, I know…”
“Don’t you like daddy’s band?” He asked. Indeed she liked the songs a lot, more than he could ever know, but it was kind of a conflict: hear the songs and hear his voice or forget about everything?
“I so do, cowboy…” and then the bell rang. Her heart skipped a beat and she started asking God for help, for her to be able to treat him nicely in front of , or, at least, with indifference and not with the hostility she wanted to.
“Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!” ran to the door, and when he opened, she saw him. He looked different than when they were married. He was still the same tall man, but he seemed much more handsome than she remembered. His eyes seemed to be r and his hair r. But in the moment she noticed how he looked handsome; she remembered all he had made her pass through. It was like a scarlet message written on his forehead. He caught up on his arms and hugged him tightly. As a father she could never say a thing about him.
“Hello …” he said trying to keep a nice conversation with her. Hearing her nickname made her feel a huge desire to yell “Fuck off!” at him coming from deep of her bowels. But she remembered she had to pretend it was alright. It was for and for him she’d anything.
“Hello . Sit here, let’s have breakfast.” she said extremely dry, turning around for not to see his face. When he noticed that she was still at the same position as years before, that she didn’t change her mind, his heart became sadder. How could such a mistake destroy their entire relationship? Everything he felt was still in his heart, and even bigger than when they were still together and always growing. Their only link was , and him he loved the most and unconditionally. But what he had ever wanted for those long years was being by her side. And, ironically, was the only thing he couldn’t possibly get.
They sat together and had breakfast. She had prepared pancakes and waffles with honey and he wondered if it was because she remembered it was the way he liked his breakfast.
“Hmmm…I had forgotten you’re such a great cook…” he said, shyly and softly, looking to the plate and then to her. She gave him an evil look and then a sarcastic smile. He looked down the plate again, feeling like shit. It was his fault and no one else’s. didn’t see that embarrassing moment and he said, happily.
“Daddy, pass me the honey, please?” gave him the honey and asked:
“Wow cowboy, are you gonna put more honey on it? I guess it’s too much.”
“Oh, honey is good!” They said in unison. She smiled to , getting really on her limit. After they finished it, gave the key of his car.
“So, dude, come down there, open the car and you will get something I brought ya.”
“REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” asked, with his eyes wide opened. nodded and caught the keys and ran to the car. They were alone now.
“So…” he said. She kept taking the things to the sink and started doing the dishes. No answer, no hostility. She hadn’t even looked at him. “You’re not going to talk to me?” she didn’t answer. “I don’t think so… Look I just…”
“Hey, you listen to me. I can’t believe you are so….UH! ...Anyway, I won’t talk to you, won’t look at you, and won’t touch you and you won’t talk to me, won’t look at me and won’t touch me. I can’t believe you have such a daring to come to my house and try to act as if nothing happened. I think that now you’ve got the top of the shit you already did. So don’t try to keep a conversation. I don’t wanna talk to you. Never again. And I know you know it.”
“I can’t believe your love is now all this hate…We had such a wonderful story and…” he had tears in his eyes but she didn’t melt. She was still seeing the scarlet message on his forehead.
“It’s not hate. You just make me sick and for a matter of principles I don’t talk to people who have such this type of character. But I don’t think you’d understand it. You don’t know what are principles.” Before he could say something, came in, yelling, with an enormous cowboy hat and a wood horse.
“WOW DADDY! I FEEL LIKE I AM WOODY, FROM TOY STORY.” He loved Toy Story and he dreamed about being Woody. smiled. At least he had his son, to make all that pain easier to him. “Mommy can I go to Aunt and show her my new toy?”
“Yes you can…”
“Can I go with daddy?”
“I bet he has too many things to do at his hotel the rest of the day.” was still willing to have a serious conversation with her, but that was not the moment. So and went to ’s and followed them there and was not seen. He stood by the corner, just watching his kid getting into ’s place. After that, he got into the car and let escape a long sigh. It was too tough for his heart. It was the pain that he had arranged to himself. The worse of that situation was that he had no one to blame. And it stinks when it’s your fault, because you have to blame yourself for being in the middle of the shit.
On his way to the Hotel, he started remembering their story.

Chapter 03

*Flashback*

She was still too young when they got married. She was only eighteen, but they were so in love and they were so impulsive that marrying seemed to be the perfect. She was a graduated high school student, no parents, studying English in London. He was a singer, in the beginning of his career. The band had put four number ones already and an amazing worldwide success.
They met at a party, where she was the waitress and right on the moment they met, it was love. He invited her to dinner and they became best friends, calling each other everyday and seeing each other at least three days a week, after getting to the next step. It was kinda automatic: they were so in love that they didn’t realize how huge that was. The press almost ate them alive, because no one could understand what the pop star of the band of the moment saw in a girl, who had absolutely no money and had a scholarship on Dublin University. She was pretty, yeah, but what was beyond that? Everyone considered his money but none of them cared about it.
Anyway, they got married and after the honeymoon, she had the last semester of her course and he had the new album to work on. They rarely saw each other and they missed it very much, but they were always on the phone and was always sending her flowers and gifts. A few times he sent it at school, and each and every girl envied her, ‘cos she wasn’t just married to famous guy. He truly loved her and they were husband and wife in the real meaning of the bond.
Everything was pretty fine until the day she found out she was pregnant. That was the night she would try to tell him. He arrived home after two or three weeks away and seeing her hair falling down her shoulders and her beautiful body made his heart almost jump from his chest.
“Hello my love…” he said, emotional, hugging her from behind and kissing her neck gently. She smiled, turned around and kissed him.
“Hey poet…” she used to call him like that, because he wrote fabulous songs. “How was the trip?” She said, sitting on the couch, thinking about how she would tell him that she was pregnant. He sat beside her.
“Tiring…and mainly, empty…I missed you like hell!” He said putting her on his lap and kissing her, passionately. “I love you so much little girl!”
“I love you too, …And…I gotta tell ya something.”
“Hm…tell me…”
“I don’t know if you’re gonna like it, but…well, I really hope so…I am pregnant.” Silence. Her heart sank. “Would stop jumping for joy?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get it…you mean…pregnant?” He raised one eyebrow and looked at her in shock.
“Yeah…pregnant…We’re going to have a baby. I hoped you’d be happy, but I can see you are not.”
“It’s not that I am not happy. We are too young for that. You are eighteen and I am twenty, for God’s sake…I mean…A baby now is going to be kinda a problem to us… I am still establishing my career and you are finishing your course… There’s no space for a baby right now in our lives.” He looked at her and her eyes were full of tears. She was really emotional lately and that was the main reason she booked a doctor and then found out she was pregnant. Hormones… “Hey baby, c’mon don’t cry…come here…” and she ran to their room and closed the door with a huge noise. “Hey, don’t do that…Come outside , please…I wanna hug my favorite future mommy…I didn’t mean what I said.” And then she opened the door.
“Oh, you’re so full of shit, you so meant it! You’re just worried about what the fucking press is going to say about it. If you didn’t want to have kids…well, we should have taken some care right? The thing is: we didn’t and it happened. And there’s nothing you can do about it now. If you don’t want it, fine. There’s no problem for me!” And she locked the door again. He felt a huge regret about what he had said. Thinking about the news, it would be nice to have a baby. It would be the proof of their love.
So, after giving her some time to calm down, he caught his guitar and went outside the room, and started singing their song, the song of their first kiss.

Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano
Trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know
‘Cause a bottle of vodka still lies in my head
And some blond gave me nightmares
I think that she's still in my bed
As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead
With an ironclad fist I wake up and French kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head while
We’re talking about all of the things that I long to believe,
About love, the truth and what you mean to me.
And the truth is, baby, you're all that I need.

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses

Well I'm so far away
Each step that I take is on my way home
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I’ll just close my eyes and whisper, baby blind love is true

Chapter 04

When he finished the song, she opened the door and then he put the guitar down and opened his arms wide open. She hugged him and he caressed her hair.
“I am sorry…I’m so stupid… Forget what I said, OK?” She nodded and he said: “So…how long are you pregnant baby?”
“Three months and a half…” he thought a little bit and gave her a naughty look. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Three months and a half ago…So I guess it happened when we…Erm…baptized our new king size bed…” she blushed a lot and he said: “Hey, preggy girl… why are you so damn blushed? There’s no harm about baptizing things… I guess there is no place in this house that’s not baptized yet, is there?” She thought a bit and he said: “You gotta be kidding me…Is there a place?”
“Well, thinking very well we have a new carpet…”
“So…we have already a mission after dinner… A very important one, right?”
“Which is?” She asked, pretending she didn’t know what he meant.
“What do you mean? Imagine how the new carpet feels about being the only place not baptized of the house? Imagine how the sink, for example, is laughing at him. ‘Carpet, you loser…. I am baptized almost every week and you are not even once…’…We can’t allow that in our house! This competition ambient…There’s a child coming, for God’s sake!” He joked and she laughed loudly.
“Ok then...for the carpet’s sake, we’re going to mission after dinner… I completely agree”
“Remember: this has nothing to do with us. There is no personal pleasure involved. It’s all about the harmony of the house!”
“Right, right…” she said, going to kitchen. He was right on the couch, seeing her walking toward the kitchen. She was such a wonderful person, his friend and his lover and she knew how to mix his feelings. Since the beginning he was always the emotional part of the relationship. And seeing her at the kitchen, smiling at him, made him stood up and get there. He hugged her from behind and kissed her neck.
“Hey, poet…I can’t finish your dinner like that…”
“I was wondering… Why make the carpet wait until after dinner? Poor! I wouldn’t like to be waiting any longer…” She laughed and turned around.
“Yeah…poor carpet!” And they completely forgot about the dinner and baptized the carpet.
“You know what I was wondering here….?” He asked, while they were laid on the carpet, hugged.
“What?”
“You will be the most beautiful pregnant ever, my preggy… And she shortest, too…” she laughed and they finally fell asleep.

The next two months everything was pretty fine. He was still working too much, and she had just finished her course and now she had picked a few students to teach English to.
One day, while she was coming back to one of the classes, by bus, and when she was going to sit a twelve, thirteen-year-old boy came running and hit upon her. She fell over and instantly she noticed something was wrong.
“Ouch!”
“Hey, lady! Are you ok?” Asked a handsome man, wearing white, sat near her helping her to get up. She tried but she felt an enormous pain on her belly.
“No, no... I can’t… It’s too painful!”
“Hey, calm down. I’m gonna help you, OK? I am an obstetrician and I am going to help you to get out of here. Hey, driver! Stop the bus, please! There’s a pregnant woman that needs to go to the hospital!” the old driver looked back and saw the lady sat and, luckily, he was about to pass in front on the Memorial Hospital.. He stopped the bus and the stranger caught her on his arms and took her to the hospital. She was feeling too much pain and he entered at the E.R saying:
“I need a wheel chair!” The nurse caught up one and she sat. The pain was still enormous. He was going with her to the supersonic sound waves room, for examining her. “How long are you pregnant?
"Twenty four weeks. May I know your name doctor? OUCH!"
"Sorry, I am Doc. Luke Evans." he was preparing the exams, very quickly and she couldn’t stop thinking how lucky she was, because he was a doctor who worked on Memorial Hospital, which was the closest one to go from where she was. "Is it too painful?" He asked, softly. She nodded. "Where?" she put her hand where she felt the pain and he started examining her, looking to that small screen, with lots of gray and black stains no one but doctors could decipher.
"Is everything OK? How’s my baby?" She asked, with trembling voice.
"Shhhh…Calm down…I’m taking a look here, ok?" He said caressing her arm. He gave her a tender smile that made her feel calmer. "Well, lady," he started, few moments later. "I can assure you nothing happened to your baby. But, we have to have a conversation, because something else happened here."
"Is it serious?"
"Kind of. Everything depends on how you’ll behave from now on. Are you married,…?"
". Yes, I am." She looked at the doctor, who was really nice and kind, besides being really gorgeous. Tall, thin, green eyes and the blackest hair ever.
"May I call your husband then?" She nodded and gave him her cell phone.
"He is the number one of the list." he looked at it and looked at her.
"So you are nothing more nothing less than Mrs. ?" she smiled and nodded. "Wow, I’m gonna call a pop star." she laughed lightly and he called from his mobile.
" . "
"Mr. , I am Doc. Luke Evans, from Memorial Hospital. Could you come up here right now?"
"Now? I’m in the middle of a meeting. Is it that important?" The tone he used bothered Luke.
"Well, it depends on the point of view. I’m here with your wife. Is that important?" He was a bit rude now.
"Sure it is, but, do you really need me there doctor? Can’t you solve it just with her?" That was too much for Luke.
"I’ll work this out Mr. , sorry to bother you." And he hung up, turned around and smiled. "Sorry, I guess he is really busy and…"
"Busy to come up here to see me?" She asked and when he saw her pretty face sad, he sat beside her.
"Don’t feel bad. I bet he was into something important, OK?" She nodded, because she wouldn’t get into the point of that with the doctor. "The first thing here is your pain. Is it getting better?"
"Yes… don’t worry."
"Really? You mean it?
"It’s really getting better Doc."
"Sorry, I can’t give you a specific medicine, because of the baby, ok? So, let’s try to get up?" She nodded and then he helped her. It hurt a bit, but she could handle it now. She started walking slowly holding the doctor’s arm. He took her to his office and she sat again. It felt loads better.
"Well , the first thing I want to explain is that today you got really, really close to lose your baby. You know, the babies receive oxygen, nutrients by the placenta, right?" she nodded. "What happened today was a serious case of ungluing of placenta. If it had happened completely, which didn’t, your baby would die without oxygen. But, luckily, it’s hold by a little bit yet. Just a little: the space of the umbilical string. Just a few women feel the pain you felt in these cases and that’s a problem, because they don’t know how to proceed and put the baby’s life in danger, unintentionally. Did you understand?"
"Sure doc. Go on." She was really worried about her baby.
"So, you have to take care of few things from now on: you just CAN’T be nervous. That may accelerate you deliver and we don’t want it, not even a little. Got it?" She nodded. "You can’t drive cars, ride buses, bicycles, skater, and rollers. From now on just house and walking by foot, preferentially not by yourself. Resting is really important. Do you work?"
"Yes, I am an English teacher. I mean…I have few students, children, and I go to their houses, give few classes about writing and grammar. Just that. Can’t I do that anymore?"
"Hmm…Well, are they devilish?" She laughed loudly.
"Not at all, they are angels."
"So, I don’t see any problem. You can continue, but, they have to go to your house. You are not allowed to go to theirs, unless it’s really near and on foot. But I recommend they come to you house. Let’s see…what’s more… Oh, sure… I don’t know if I am mistaken, but you look like a clumsy girl." He joked and she laughed.
"C’mon doc…me? You gotta be kidding!" She joked, ironically.
"Well, you CAN’T fall off. Now even from one stair step. Who is your doctor? I saw you have a record here."
"It was Doc Marsilha. But now he moved to Ghana, I’m trying to find another one."
"If you want to… I’m here on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Tuesdays and Thursdays I’m in Public E.R."
"I certainly do Doc. Evans."
"C’mon, call me Luke."
"OK Luke. By the way, what are you doing here today if it’s not your duty?"
"Well, I was on the bus, coming back home but some clumsy pregnant fell over and then…I had to come back to work…" she blushed. He laughed. "Don’t blush, I am kidding…"
"Well, thank you very much Luke, I really apprecia…"
"Oh, cut the crap, ok? I am a doctor, that’s what I am here for. By the way, I really want to have an ice cream… Wanna come with me, my new patient? Then I drive you home."
"You were in a bus, and you have a car to drive me home?" she asked raising one eyebrow.
"Kind of. My mom lives at the beige house next to here and she has a car, she can lend me."
"Well, once my house is a bit far from here and I can’t ride buses anymore, because my doctor forbade me… I’ll accept." he smiled and said:
"So, wait here. I’ll pick the car up and I’ll be back in a few." He said, leaving her at the hospital’s entrance.
"Ok Luke." He went outside and in two minutes he arrived in front of the hospital in a beautiful black Corolla, wearing jeans and a black shirt, as black as his hair. He was, undeniably, a handsome man.
"So, let’s go?" She got in the car and they started talking a lot. He got really surprised when she said she was only eighteen, because by the talking they had, she seemed much older than that. They got the ice cream place and they had a wonderful time in there. She ate too much and they got real friends. Luke was completely impressed by her, because she was just a kid in his opinion "he was thirty, so…" and she could handle being the wife of a pop star, a teacher and a future mother.
So, after that wonderful afternoon, when they had a good laugh and when she relaxed a lot and forgot about ’s indifference or, at least, not worrying about her and the baby, Luke drove her home.
"Well Luke, thank you very much for the great afternoon, for the ride, for the bus…for everything, you’re kinda my super hero today." He laughed; she kissed his cheek and went out of the car.
When she entered her house, she went straight to their room and laid on the bed, resting, as the doctor said she should. She was so tired that she fell asleep.

Chapter 05

got home by seven or eight, as usual those days. He left home really early and got home at night.
"Hey…is anybody there?" He asked. She was still asleep. He went to their room and found her there, with that “preggy belly” as he used to call. He didn’t feel like waking her up, so he kissed her forehead and laid by her side, really tired as well.

The next morning

When she woke up, wasn’t by her side. She thought he had already left and got up, really slowly. She yawned and went to the kitchen, feeling hungry. There, she found a serious sat, waiting for her with few papers on the table.
"Hello my love…" she said, smiling, still wearing her enormous T-shirt.
"Would you mind explaining me what does this whole shit mean?" He said, low, serious and a bit sarcastic. She didn’t like his tone and caught up the papers. There was a huge picture of her, with Luke, sat on the table, having an ice cream. They were laughing and both looked really gorgeous on the picture.
"Well, , this is my obstetrician, Doc Luke Evans. We were having ice cream yesterday afternoon."
"Bullshit! I know your obstetrician, and this one isn’t him." He was being really rude and she couldn’t just swallow that.
"Well, if you had left your stupid meeting yesterday afternoon and had gone to the hospital to see your wife, who’s pregnant, and suffered and accident, maybe you’d know that he is my new doc."
"You what?"
"And, in case you didn’t know, Doc. Marsilha moved to Ghana, for doing voluntary work. So now this one in the picture here is my new doctor. Say hello to him."
"I want to know what happened yesterday."
"I was coming back home after the classes and a boy hit upon me, I fell over and felt a lot of pain in my belly. Luke was on the bus and he took me to the hospital. Luckily, he was one of the doctors of Memorial Hospital and the bus was really close to it. After that, he took some exams, saw that everything was almost right and called you, who was too busy to show up and after that he explained to me what happened and as he hadn’t a duty that day, he offered to give me a ride home and invited me to have an ice cream with him. Anything else you wanna know inspector?"
"Give you a ride? Nice of him. Good doctor uh? And, mainly…he is every woman’s dream: an obstetrician who looks like Luka Kovac, from E.R."
"Stop your games, ok? And good morning for you too." said, going to the kitchen and keeping herself calm. Or at least trying to.
"I’m not done yet, …"
"Well, you’re going to keep discussing by yourself. I can’t be nervous, so I won’t keep explaining myself because I’ve done nothing wrong and this baby, for me, is more important than this shit of the papers. By the way, what else can I do? Do you want me to go to the press and explain that this one here is my mew doctor? Does everyone have to know even which doctor examines me?"
"You don’t look like doctor and patient in this picture!"
"I don’t care a shit about what people are saying about me. And I am sorry if you do, but I won’t explain myself!" And then she felt dizzy and became pale. She felt like she was going to fall down and then she caught the first chair she saw and sat.
"Hey, what’s going on?"
"As I said, I can’t be nervous. God… I gotta go back to bed." She said, walking out of the kitchen slowly.
"Hey, hey…what happened, ?" He asked, really worried now, she looked awful.
"I got to…" and the passed out, on his arms. He got desperate and caught her on his arms. Then he took her to bed and noticed she was breathing. She woke up in a few seconds and he said:
"Thanks God, I was already calling 911! What is going on, ?"
"Call Luke, please…"
"Why do you want to call him?"
", please…"
"OK, what’s his number?" She told him and he dialed.
"Doc. Luke Evans."
"Doc. Evans, here. I’m ’s husband."
"Sure, is everything OK?"
"Well, not actually. I mean… She passed out and she asked me to call you doctor."
"Right. May I have a word with her?"
"OK." and he gave her the phone, sat beside her and caressed her hair while she talked to Luke, really worried about her.
"Hey Luke." she said, with a weak voice.
"Hey, little lady… What happened?"
"I passed out."
"No kidding! You husband told me that. I wanna know what’s going on… Were you nervous or something?" Silence. She wouldn’t answer because she didn’t want to blame him. "Right, I’ve got it. Can I go there now?"
"Now? Isn’t going to bother you? And what about your work?"
"Oh, please! You are my favorite patient, you know? Maybe because you are the youngest, I don’t know. But I really worry about ya."
"Thanks Luke. I really appreciate it." They said the byes and hung up.
"So…" asked .
"He is coming."
"Now?" she nodded. "Would you mind explaining me what’s going on? I am freaking OUT here…"
"Let me rest a bit. He explains you, ok?" And she closed her eyes, tired.

Chapter 06

Few minutes later , who was in the bedroom walking side to side, heard the doorbell. He ran to open it and saw Doc Luke, wearing his best white outfit and he REALLY looked like Luka Kovac, from E.R.
"Hello Mr. . Can I come in?"
"Hello Doctor. Sure you can." They shook hands and took him to their room.
"Hey little lady. How are you?"
"I feel better now."
"Now, what happened before she passed out?" Silence. They looked at each other and Luke said: "Hey! C’mon guys!"
"We were having a little argument." Luke sighed.
"I imagine. A little one that made you dismay. What else did you feel? Any pain? Anything on your belly?"
"No, nothing."
"Good. I came to have a conversation with you guys. I already imagined it was all about a discussion or something. I don’t have to know what that was for but what’s important is that you can’t be nervous. Not at all. I already told you that yesterday and it’s really important that you follow all the things I said."
"Hey, am I missing something?" said , annoyed with their friendship and a bit arrogant. Luke looked at him and raised one eyebrow.
"Well, you did miss our conversation yesterday, as you were busy. And as I said, it was important."
"Well doctor, some of us can’t leave the work for going to the hospital."
"I do know so. I see lots of wives having their babies by themselves. Actually husbands seldom have any participation at the deliver. But your wife suffered an accident and…" he explained the whole thing and the cares they had to take. "And if you can’t be home, it’d be nice to have someone to be with her."
"Ok, I’ll decide it."
"And as you travel too much, this would be a nice way to…"
"I’ll decide Doc. Thanks." didn’t like him at all. He seemed to be making accusation to him within every sight and he was still a little suspicious about their friendship.
"And , from now on, just rest, ok? Forget about your classes a little." she nodded and he kissed her cheek before walking away.

didn’t say a word about the doctor, once he knew she couldn’t get nervous. But at the first possibility, he would try to make her change the doctor.

The next months were a bit tense, because felt lots of jealousy and went just two times or so with her to Luke’s office and because Luke and were closer, and he gave her a special attention, because she was so young and he had a true admiration for her.
On the other hand, once couldn’t go to parties anymore because Luke had forbidden, went to parties with , a singer the guys met at the record company. didn’t like her at all, but she had another reason for that. had said to a magazine that if was a single man, she would never let him escape. And she had completed with “Well, even married… I wouldn’t care that much you know?” and then she laughed and everyone considered that a joke. But since then, they had tense situations: had to go to the doctor, made up a face and took her. Both knew something was wrong, but they didn’t want and they couldn’t discuss. And then, after that, everything was ok. But two days later he had a premiere to go, he asked her if she could make it, she made up a face and he called to go with him. And she had to stay home by herself. Then, when he got home she was few times talking to Luke on the phone and then they stood like that. Pretending all that was OK.

Chapter 07

The situation ran out of control a month before the deliver. It was her birthday and was going to be away from town, but he’d come back at night. She felt miserable about that, but she wouldn’t stop him. She still had to buy few things for the baby and when Luke called her and said that he had a free day and that they should go to the mall and spend all the money they could, she couldn’t say no. After that strange period with , when they didn’t talk because if they did they knew they were going to fight, Luke became her best friend ever.
He got to her house and she was wearing those pregnant dresses and her hair in a ponytail.
"Hey little girl! How do you feel being nineteen?"
"I feel fat!" He laughed.
"So, fat ass, let’s go?" She laughed and he laughed too. She laughed like if she was really entertained and she smiled like if it was her favorite game.
"Well, firstly, call up a tow-truck, to catch me. This baby must be almost my size!"
"Like if it was really difficult!" And they went to the mall, where they bought too many things for the baby and he bought her a dress as a birthday gift.
They got back to her house and stood there, seeing all the clothes of the baby and he kept joking that the shoes they had bought would probably fit in her feet as well.
It was already near eight when arrived. And when he came in and saw her talking to Luke, laughing full of baby clothes on their laps and Luke wearing one of the bonnets of the baby, he got really angry and all that was stored up blew away and he said:
"What the fuck is this in my house?"
"Hey, watch your mouth!" said Luke, nervous because of his behavior.
"Look, you stud doctor son of a bitch, this is couple thing, and you already got on my nerves too much. So I guess you’d be better going! Much of the things we got to discuss are related to you and your “kindness” without any interests. I know what you want. I know types like you and I am really done with that!"
"Oh, and I think you should stop being such a jerk and notice the wife you have and give her the value she deserves and not the value you give to your CD’s… She is pregnant, she had a difficult time since her accident and all you can do is play the cheated husband because she is friend of her doctor! Would you behave like 20 and not 12, please?"
"Luke, that’s OK. You’d better go."
"Well, if you need anything, call me ok?" He whispered, kissed her cheek and walked away, giving an evil look.
"So," started, rudely after Luke closed the door. "That’s what this is all about? You’re not fine to go out with me, but you are awesome to spend your whole afternoon with this damn doc?"
"Once today was my birthday and my husband couldn’t make up the meeting to another day, I had to find another companies!"
"So I see. Will he be that baby’s father too?"
"So now you remember we will have a baby? Because last weeks you were so damn busy going out with that bitch to even think about this kid!"
"And you were so busy flirting with Luke Evans to care about me!"
"He is my doctor and, if I have to pay attention to the kid or to you, you bet you won’t be my option!"
"I’m never your option! Since you got pregnant you only care about the baby and the doctor! It’s always all about you!"
"About me? This is about you! It’s always about you! About you wanting me to change my doctor, to go out with you, not to have a baby and, do not complain about anything."
"I won’t keep discussing!" Then he caught up the keys of the car and went away. She was exasperated and then she sat on the couch, feeling awful. She was about to have a baby and and her couldn’t make up that stupid situation.
She tried to go to the kitchen to catch up a glass of water, but she felt dizzy. After that, she felt water going down her legs. It was time!
She picked up the phone and called Luke.
"Luke," she said, feeling lots of pain. "I guess it’s time! OUCH!"
"WHAT? Shit, where is ?"
"I don’t know…OUCH…"
"What happened?"
"I can’t explain right now…"
"OK, I’m coming; I’ll be there…HANG ON, ok?" And he hung up. In a matter of minutes he was there. He caught her on his lap and put in the car. Then he caught up her bags, which were right on the living room, now the time was getting closer. It was definitely time. He got to the hospital in few minutes and sent her to the nurses for her to get ready. In the meantime, he went to the surgery room. He was really worried, because it shouldn’t be time yet. And pissed, because wasn’t there, once again.

Chapter 08

In the meantime

He was driving. He didn’t know where he was going to, but he needed to escape. Suddenly all the responsibility and intensity of his feelings needed to go out of his body. He felt really stupid about his jealousy but he missed having her for himself too.
It was when the mobile rang. He answered it quickly, thinking it was .
" ."
"Hey gorgeous. here."
"Oh… hi …"
"So…where are you? I called your house and no one answered me. Still having to play the daddy and perfect husband?"
"No… We had a discussion and… No big deal actually…"
"Oh…poor you. Wanna come to the pub I am?"
"I don’t know…"
"Oh, please…I won’t let you be driving around like a lonely person. You’re not alone. You have me…" Silence. "So…you coming?"
"Well… where are you?" She gave him the address and he got there in a few. There were lots of people of the press there, ‘cos it was a brand new place. Then, one of the reporters asked:
"Hey, our future daddy of the year. Where is ?" people had kind of a sympathy for her and he answered, dry:
"She is at home." and then he got in. and sat a little bit and he asked Red Bull and Vodka. He mixed it in a glass. He drank one of those. Then two, three, four… And each one he drank, he was feeling like was more beautiful and more sexy and feeling like the ring on his left hand less important. After the sixth, nothing mattered anymore and he went dancing with . Another one and he hardly remembered about his pregnant wife he loved so much at home. and her mini skirt were nearer and seemed more real.

At the hospital

"C’mon , I am here with you, nothing is going to happen. Now, it’s gonna have to be a cesarean, OK?" she nodded and before he gave her the anesthetic, she said:
"You guys didn’t find ?" Luke moved his head side to side and then gave her the anesthetic. He hated to see her like that because of a stupid jerk. She deserved much more than a husband that was always away. In a matter of half of hour or so, she heard the baby cry.
"Hey mommy… Look who’s here! A gorgeous cute boy!" He said giving her the baby. It was really heavy, almost 11 pounds and lots of hair. She caught him and her eyes were shining. It was, definitely, the most emotional moment of her life. "What’s gonna be his name, mommy?"
" ."
"Very good." He said, giving the baby to the nurse and coming back to her belly. And what he saw there made his smile disappear.
"Anesthetist? Please, give her the general one. We have something here." He did it and after two seconds she was completely asleep.
"What happened doctor?" asked the anesthetist.
"Look at her womb! It’s completely…GOD… And she is losing too much blood!"
"You hadn’t noticed it?"
"It’s just started!" He was completely nervous.
"Did she have any problems during the pregnancy?" asked the other doctor, while they tried to find a way to work things out.
"Didn’t you see the placenta? It was almost falling apart!"
"I did, it was a miracle the baby and her survived!"
"I know, it can’t go wrong now!"
"God…Look here!? What a bleeding! It’s impossible to stop it…"
"Look, it CAN’T be impossible, she is nineteen. We can’t draw it out! We are doctors, for God’s sake; we have to find another solution!"
"Such as?!"
"I don’t know, I am thinking. Did you give her…?"
"I did give her all the medicines you think are possible to be given Luke, and it didn’t change not even a little."
"DAMN IT! It’s a nightmare!"
"Look at this! If we don’t do it, she is going to die, Luke! It’s your choice." he looked at it and it was undeniable.
"Damn it…Do it then…" he said, getting out of the surgery room, pissed. He punched the wall and cried. The nurse came around and asked:
"Hey Doc... What happened?"
"Why am I a doctor? I couldn’t even stop a damn bleeding inside there and now a nineteen-year-old girl won’t have kids anymore!"
"I’m sure you did all you could doc. Don’t feel like that."
"I have to get a breeze a little." And he got out of the place, feeling guilty and miserable about her.

Chapter 09

Few hours later - Morning

When she woke up, Luke was right beside her. It was about eight o’clock. She smiled and said:
"Hey…what happened in there?"
"Erm… I have to talk to you."
"Ok, but…could I call first? I mean…"
"Well, OK…" and he gave her his cell phone. She dialed his number. And when she got an answer… It was definitely not .
"Hello?!"
"Erm… Sorry, who is this?"
"It’s here. Who is on?"
"Isn’t this ’s number?"
"It is, but it’s eight in the morning and he is still asleep. I’m gonna call him, just a second…" and then she heard waking him up and moaning, really beside her, she just hung it up and gave it back to Luke.
"Luke… I just…I…" she started stuttering, pale.
"What happened?"
"I guess…I just can’t believe it! Oh God…"
"Who was on?"
"What do you have to tell me…?"
"It could be a shock…I’d rather know what happened first…" he said, trying to be nice and made her feel aware of what she was about to hear.
"Nothing can be worse of what I just found out, so… Shoot."
"I don’t think that’s a good idea."
"Luke, please."
"While we were in the middle of the delivery… It happened something." He stopped and took a breath.
"Ok, go on."
"It happened a complication, with your womb. As I told you few time ago, it was a serious injury the placenta thing. And… I was not able to save it. I am sorry. We had to draw it out." He stopped, and the tears fell of his eyes.
"So…" she said, with tears on her eyes. "It means that…I can’t have kids anymore. Is that it?" He nodded, crying hard now. Tears fell from her eyes too and they hugged.
"I am so sorry… I tried to work things out but…"
"Ok, Luke…Don’t cry… Wow…I didn’t know it could possibly be, but this is kinda worse than what I just found out. Why do we need anesthetics when we have bad news!?"
"Oh my…what happened?" he asked drying her tears.
"Well, do you know who answered me when I called my husband? ! And you know how they were like? They were just…together, sleeping. She was even waking him up. Wow… I guess today was not a day I want to remember…"
"Oh my God … What are you going to do now?"
"Well… Tomorrow I’m going to my house, right?"
"Sure, the baby is perfect. He looks so much like you."
"At least a good one. And then... I’m going to get out of there."
"Wanna come to my place few days, until you decide where you’re going?"
"Wouldn’t it be too much?"
"Sure it wouldn’t. And I could help ya with finding a place to stay."
"Thank you Luke. Thank you for everything. But…would you mind leaving me alone a little bit? I need to think about what happened." He nodded, kissed her forehead and left the room. And she cried her heart out.

Chapter 10

In the meantime – The hotel room

"Who was on the phone, ?" said , waking up and in a huge hangover. He started wearing his clothes and he felt awful about last night. What he did wasn’t right at all and he didn’t know how he was going to explain that to .
"I don’t know. It was a female voice and..." said still naked on the bed.
"Let me see this number." When he looked at it and recognized Luke’s number, he said "Oh SHIT! It was !"
"Wow…I guess she found out…"
"That’s not funny, she is pregnant! You don’t know how…Look; I hope you know this was a huge mistake! I won’t do it again. I love her, OK? It was…I was weak, that’s all…" he finished, getting out of the room, half dressed.
That day and the next he tried to find her everywhere. She had just vanished. He was getting desperate. He was driving around the city trying to find her.

The day she got home

She got home by three in the afternoon, with on her arms and Luke helping her, as the surgery was really painful. But she was strong as Luke always said to her. She was going to take it.
entered her house and wasn’t there. She put the baby on the cradle and went to put their things on the suitcases.
"Are you sure you’re going to wait for him here?"
"Yes Luke. Don’t worry, it’s gonna be ok. I have to do this. And is his son, so…"
"Ok, I get it. I’ll be waiting you there, OK?" He kissed her cheek and walked away.
She caught her kid on her arms and spent the whole afternoon with him. was the only thing that could make her feel better and forget about how painful made that situation be.
When it was about seven o’clock, arrived. He opened the door, feeling hopeless again, because he had spent the second day trying to find her. And when he closed the door he turned around and saw her, with the baby. His eyes were filled by tears. He had missed the most important moment of his life. He wasn’t there.
"Oh God…is this our baby?"
"No, . This is a doll I found on the corner." She said, dry. Seeing him made she feel all the feelings from the last 48 hours boiling.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Take him a little bit, and put him on the cradle. We have to have a conversation." caught and went with him until his room. was so small and perfect with his hair and his eyes. He looked very much like his mommy, the eyebrows and the yawning expression, but he had his nose and was as big as him. He put on the cradle and came back to the living room, where he saw the enormous suitcases, near the couch. Then he heard hunging up the phone.
"So…" he sat beside her on the couch.
"Well , I just called a cab. I’m getting out of here. I want the divorce."
"Why? What?" he asked. Seeing that face, made she feel really sick. Then she slapped his face with all the strength she had.
"Don’t fuck with me, . I have an enormous list of reasons why I should leave you. So, don’t even try to pretend you don’t know what’s happening. I had tough days and I don’t intend to play your stupid games."
"C’mon, I can explain about and…" she slapped his face again.
"I don’t wanna hear you. Can’t you get it? You little laid with is the minor of my problems right now. I hope she was good and you enjoyed it! And, as usual, you are so busy with your own world that you can’t even care about anything else. For example, you had a pregnant wife at home and you knew I couldn’t be alone and nervous. What did you do? You let me nervous at home, by myself. After that the baby started birthing, a month before the time. Luke had to help me. Luke saved me. And you don’t even like the guy. After the deliver I called you to tell you that our baby…" she had tears on her eyes now and he was already crying. … "MY baby is born…that I wanted you to be there…And that whore answers the phone and, worse, you’re with her, moaning and waking up as a Sleepy Beauty. And you know what I found out later? That during the deliver I had a complication and now my womb is gone. Luke saved me again. And I am a nineteen-year-old-girl that can’t have kids anymore. And now you ask me WHY am I leaving? Screw you, I’m done and I don’t wanna see you ever again."
"C’mon, don’t leave me…I can explain, we can work it out! I love you!" she slapped him again. He looked desperate and full of regrets. But she didn’t care a thing and she wanted him to suffer, just as she was suffering. "Don’t do that, please."
"Do what? This?" she slapped him again. "This one is for all the times you were not there." she slapped his face. "This one is for giving me an earful of shit about Luke, who’s the most decent doctor I could have ever had!" She did it again. "This one is for not being with me in my birthday." Again. "This one was for cheating on you pregnant wife!" Again "This one was for not being with me the moment I needed you the most." she was tired now and her hand was aching. ’s cheeks were completely marked and he was crying so much. Then she heard the bell. It was Luke that came to pick them up. She opened the door and he got in, caught the suitcases and she caught on his room. He was asleep. She left the house and her last words were: "My lawyer will look for you tomorrow."

Chapter 11

Two weeks later

She had decided she’d move to Cork. She’d found a small place in there, cheap and she was intending to find a job. Luke helped her all through it. And that day she would meet again, after two weeks. He tried to call her lots of times and she didn’t answer. He seemed desperate, according to Luke. But she still didn’t care.
All the papers had pictures of him and going out together of the party. Lots of reporters called her but she didn’t answer any. Luke, once again, took care of that saying that as her doctor, he had forbidden her to talk to the press. And, in three days, they finally got the scrap and stopped bugging her on the phone. On papers, on TV and whatever other communication form they were talking about the split.

She got the law office with and she looked fine. She was already thin again and she seemed to be even prettier as a mom. Seeing that, made feel worse.
He looked like shit, really depressed and thinner, but she didn’t even look at him.
They sat on the table and the lawyers told them how it would work as the visits, and everything. Both agreed and when they were about to sign the papers, caught her hand and said, crying:
"It’s been too painful to me." she raised one eyebrow, cold, took her hand of his and said:
"Painful, ?" he nodded. "Pain. Nice word uh? But you don’t know the meaning of it. Pain I feel each and every time I look at you and I see in your arms. Pain, I felt every time those stupid journalists called me, trying to bug into my life. Pain I feel each and every time I go out and I see my face exposed on papers as if I was some kind of reality show. Pain I feel every time I remember I am nineteen and I can’t have kids anymore and that when it happened, when you should be by my side, supporting me and seeing ’s birth you were hanging around with that bitch. This is pain, ." After saying that, she signed the paper and left the office.
One of her exigencies was that she wouldn’t see in his visits. His mommy, daddy or someone close to him would pick up. She didn’t want any contact, neither a penny of his money for her, just for .

After they signed the papers of divorce, she moved to Cork, where she met , who was such an enormous help for her, the older sister she’d never had. Luke came once or twice a month to take a look at her. He missed her very much and he still felt guilty about what happened during the delivery. When he was not around he was always calling to check her up. He was a hell of a friend, him and and she didn’t know how she would possibly bear everything, starting over, without them.
Everyone knew her, of course, as she has been married to a pop star. But after few time, the hot news became colder and colder until the day it froze completely. No one treated her differently and she had a normal life with her son.
When turned two, she decided to go back to University and she was accepted in Cork’s one, a scholarship again.
Years passed and she had never saw again. Not in person. He missed her each and everyday and every time he saw it was like a pill for a huge and permanent headache. Only his son made him forget about what went wrong in his life. He tried to call her a few times but she didn’t answer. And after few months he gave up. If he were her he’d probably do the same. But she was still the one and only for him.

Chapter 12

Back to present

After he took a shower and rest the afternoon he went to pick up at ’s. He saw a circus in town and he decided to take to it.
He got there wearing his best shirt ever, a blue one and jeans. He was a hell of a man. Stupid, immature, of course, but was still a hell of a man.
He rang the doorbell and opened it.
"Hello…Erm…Is here yet?" He asked, shy.
"Sure, and are here. Wanna come in?"
"Oh, no...I don’t want to bother and…"
", who’s there? Come up to see the movie with…" it was , coming form the living room. She saw and she had to admit that he was still her Mr. Right, her Prince Charming. "Oh…you…"
"Good evening!" he looked at her wearing an old black dress, which he really loved on her and her hair falling down her shoulders. He really loved her. "I came to pick up...To go to the circus, you know?"
"Oh, sure… Cowboy, honey…Your daddy is here! came running, still with his hat."
"Hey cowboy…give daddy a hug!" hugged him. "What about going to the circus tonight?"
"Really?" nodded. "Mommy, that’s the chance!"
"Chance for what?" asked looking him and her.
"Mommy was dying to go to the circus. But she couldn’t, because she works and she studies, even on Saturdays." Shit! She thought. That was true, but she really didn’t want to spend the night with .
"Did you?" asked looking at her.
"No, I didn’t want to." She lied.
"Oh, you so did moooommy! You told me you wanted to go two days ago! You can’t change your mind thaaaat quickly!"
"Well, I did change my mind ; now go with your daddy, ok?"
"Oh, c’mon. Come with us." He said looking at her, deeply in the eyes. She looked down. "I won’t bite you, I swear."
"Please mommy, pleaaaaaaaaaaase!"
"You are unbearable !" She joked. "I’m going to pick our coats up. I’m coming." She went back to the living room and went with her. She looked nervous.
"C’mon , relax… at least pretend you are ok, pretend that you moved on!"
"How can I? Look, it’s pretty difficult to move on when he acts like that and …wow…when he looks like that! Why does he have to go messing up with my life? And ? Why is he so damn…TALKATIVE!"
"Hey, dear… Relax…OK? You’re not going to marry him again; it’s just a night out to the circus with your cute son…ok? You look pretty and nothing is going to happen!" took a breath and hugged her friend.
"Pray…pray...I’m gonna need it." and she got in the car. The front seat, of course, right beside .
"So…what about some music?" he said and turned the radio on. It was playing a song.

'Cause you are my lady I'm your fool
It makes me crazy when you act so cool
Come on baby let's not fight
We'll go dancing
Everything will be alright

Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yoyo
Wake me up before you go-go
I don't wanna miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go-go
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo
Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high yeah yeah yeah

Chapter 13

"Ohhh…" he said, smiling. "Do you remember this one?" He asked her. She nodded, serious, looking to the window. "That was sooooo funny!"
"I wanna know daddy!!" asked .
"So… your mommy here never told you how an awful dancer she is?" She looked at him, and he was teasing her. She couldn’t possibly believe it.
"No, she didn’t!"
"Well, so I’m going to tell ya! When we were dating, it was…seven, eight years ago, I took her to a very nice place to have dinner. Well, then, this song started playing and, your tall mommy here was wearing high heeled sandals. She is such a great dancer and, what happened? The heel broke! And she had to walk on the top of her toes!" They were both laughing and, with memories coming to her mind, she couldn’t help but laughing as well.
"That’s so not true! , your daddy here used to think he was John Travolta, so he started spinning me around and of course the heel broke!" was laughing hard and looked at her.
"But it was such a funny thing...Wake me up before you go-go lady!" He said and pressed her nose gently. With that contact, she stopped smiling and turned to the window again. It was pretty hard all that situation and she didn’t expect feeling like that. She thought it would be easy and was really sure he didn’t mean a thing to her anymore. And it was not true. Not at all.
noticed her behavior and started singing the songs with .
They got there really quickly and bought the tickets for them. They got their seats and ran to sit beside , so she would have to be beside him too. As soon as she noticed, she picked up and put him beside her.
"I wanna be close to you too, buddy!" kissed her cheek and got up.
"I’m gonna buy few things for us to have. What do you want, Woody?"
"Popcorn, with lots of butter!"
"Ok…And what do you want, ?"
"Nothing, thanks."
"You sure?"
"Yes." He walked away of the place then and in few minutes he was back, with popcorn and a huge hot dog.
" your popcorn…" caught it up and started having it. "And here, a hot dog to you, …" he looked at her like that again and she looked at the sandwich. Then she said:
"Does it have mustard?"
"No…as far as I remember, you don’t like it. And I asked lots of ketchup, because I know you love it. C’mon…"
"Well, I don’t want it. I don’t like ketchup either." It was a lie, but she didn’t want any kind of approaching, neither his hot dog.
"Sorry, you used to…"
"I don’t anymore. But you can have it!"
"No, I’m gonna give to some kid around here… I don’t want it as well." And he gave to a kid nearby.
The show started and they had lots of fun together. seemed different to her, more mature, more responsible. The paternity had done very good to him and he seemed like if he had learned something. The way he treated was really admirable. He could be the worst husband ever, but could never get a better daddy.

After it finished, was getting them home. slept hard in the car, as he was really tired.
They got their place and she was about to catch up when did it.
"C’mon, I never do it… let me enjoy the chance!" He said smiling, picking his kid in his long arms. He got in and put on the bed. She took his shoes and his hat off and covered him. kept watching from the door, amazed by the great mommy she had become. She still seemed to him like a little girl. She would always be a little girl to him. A mature little girl, of course, much more mature than she used to be years before, but she would always be like a kid to him. But, when it came to , she was a very mature and secure woman. She kissed ’s forehead and they went out of the room.
"So…" said . "When will we see each other again?"
"Look, , I don’t really grasp what you’re planning with this visit and looking at me like you did the whole night and trying to keep in touch again. I guess I was pretty clear years ago and during last years that I don’t want to keep in touch."
"And this is like…how long? Forever?" He looked childish now, wondering when they would be friends again. But she was not that immature girl who married him years before. She was a woman now and he had noticed the difference.
"When I want to, I’ll let you know."
"This is not mature of you…"
"Look, , I don’t think that I need you in my life after six years by myself. So, please, stop it. Tomorrow you can pick him up at five, right here, from school and you can be with him until the end of the week, for you guys enjoy it. I don’t wanna be part of it, because I don’t see a reason for that."
"I accept your conditions as I always did, because I know I’m not in position to show any opposition, but I just don’t get you. Why is it so wrong? I mean… I miss you, OK? It’s no secret for no one that I still love you, even after all this time. I won’t push you to marry me and forgive my mistakes but, it’s natural wanting to see you again, listen to your voice, your laugh…Your smile!" He was about to touch her, and he didn’t, because it was inconvenient and late for that. He’d do anything for touching her again, but he knew he lost the rights about it. "All I’ve been through last years was not easy and I’ve paid my dues already. I don’t need you to play the tough one with me and punish me even more for what I did. I don’t have you anymore, what punishment could be bigger than that?" Her beats per minute were certainly the fastest ever. She felt like her heart could jump out of her chest. And she hated feeling like that.
"I don’t get why we’re talking about it now, . It’s over and we will not get back together!"
"Won’t we? Never again?" She moved her head side to side. "Well, I won’t keep discussing, you don’t deserve it. I’m going…"
"Ok." And he was about to kiss her forehead, but he changed his mind and walked away. She didn’t sleep that night. Why now?

Chapter 14

The next days

The morning after the circus night, she put up ’s things into a suitcase, for him to go to his daddy’s hotel.
After he went to school, she got to work and was waiting for her, dying for the news.
"So, how was it?"
"… I am sure that it must be a conspiracy against me!"
"Oh Lord, what happened?"
"Nothing special, but…I don’t know! I mean… He started saying that he missed me, that he still loved me but he was conformed about us being apart, you know? And, well, I just don’t get the point of why he is doing this to me."
"Did you think that he maybe is sincere when he says that?"
"No. I prefer to play on the safe side and believe he is lying."
", why would he do that?"
"I… I don’t know! Why would he do what he did to me? I never found out until now and I was just used to my life and quite satisfied with it and now he comes around again and starts…"
"Mixing your feelings…Is that it?"
"I don’t know… I’m just confused."
"Calm down...He is going away on next week, isn’t that it?"
"Yes, at least until now, that’s what he said."
"So…wait and let it be. OK?" She nodded because she knew she didn’t have any choice.

The next days were all the same. She didn’t see neither of them both, because they were enjoying the free time together. And if she could believe in about something, was about how he missed and how he cared about him, so she let them be together, it was just a week and they were talking on the phone everyday, so she missed him a little bit less.

One day, while and were walking around a lake and throwing stones on the water, asked:
"Daddy, why aren’t you and mommy together anymore?" That was a tough thing to explain. But he bent down to and started explaining.
"Well, son…When we were married, we were both too young. Then mommy got pregnant and everything was kinda alright, but daddy did lots and lots of mistakes and then mommy had to go away. Don’t blame her, because she had to. No one would ever accept the mistakes daddy did."
"Oh, I see…"
"Do you feel unhappy because we’re apart?"
"No, I mean… I love living with mommy. She is great and she does whatever it takes to make me happy: she works long hours to buy some toy I want and she always makes the best breakfast ever to me. And I’m the only one who has a mommy that let the kid eat chocolate and cookies before dinner, besides having it as a dinner!" laughed with his description of good mother and agreed.
"Yeah… she is a hell of a mommy, isn’t she?"
"She is…But I really miss you, when you are away. Can’t you get married again?"
"I don’t think so dude."
"Why? You don’t love her anymore?"
"I do love her. More than she knows or believes, but…you know the mistakes I told ya? They were pretty awful. I don’t think your mommy can forget that. I wouldn’t if I were her. I would marry her again right now if I knew she would be happy with me. But I think she is happier the way we are now. And this is kind of more important than having her with me."
"But mommy is good. When I apologize she always accepts. Did you apologize?" He wouldn’t understand. smiled.
"No…"
"So…Try to apologize daddy!" And then he started running and throwing stones on the lake again.

Chapter 15

Saturday arrived and then the pub of the town would be in a small festival of songs and they had decided they would meet there, for come back home. was going with her.
Both looked fabulous: in her best jeans and blouse style and wearing a sexy outfit. They entered in the full place and found , and another guy, who recognized; it was , better than ever!
"Hello you guys!" said , running to , and hugging him. "Hey, my cowboy…I missed you."
"Hey mommy...I missed you too…Look! I brought you something!" And he gave her a beautiful rock he found by the lake. She caught it and kissed his cheek. Then she looked at and and said:
"Hey guys. , give me a hug you stud nut! There’s a long time I don’t see you!"
"Hello …you really look great!" And gave her a hug. "And who’s your stunning friend?"
"Oh, sorry…This one is , my best friend in the whole world! …I don’t think you know, but he is , Westlife singer." they laughed and he said:
"That’s such a pleasure. Sit here beside me." And she did, completely static by such a handsome man right in front of her. And in seconds they got along in their own conversation as if they were friends already.
Between a laugh and other, they drank lots of Guinness too, and then, when they were getting more intimate, , and went to another table, to have fun themselves and let them…together!
"Well, this festival is very nice uh? Nice songs playing!" said .
"Yeah, you bet." she said, looking to any place in that pub but his eyes. Then met a friend in there, from school, Freddy.
"Mommy, mommy!!!"
"Yeah cowboy."
"Could I go to Freddy’s house? They are going home and Freddy invited me to sleep there! Please mommy, let me go, please…"
"C’mon, let me talk to Janet first." she talked to his mother and let sleep there, as they were almost neighbors: two houses between them. After left, they stood together, sat, without saying a thing. She seemed really embarrassed and uncomfortable. And he, more than ever, wanted to pull her close and hug her, kiss her as he didn’t do to anyone since their split. He had to do something and then he decided to start by trying a conversation, before she decided to go home and let him there.
"Hey… Did you miss him this week?"
"Yeah…very much. He is my only company, but this week I had lots of homework to do so…"
"Yeah, told me you are almost graduating. I’m speechless!"
"Yeah…just this month and graduation!"
"I’m really proud of you…And of what you’ve done last years. Raise a kid as well as you raised and…without a father… it was probably tough. Congratulations, and sorry for not being there." He was getting to the point he wanted, carefully, for her not to escape. He really needed to tell her that.
"Thank you. But I don’t wanna talk about it, ."
"Why not?"
"It’s over. And there’s no reason to put the finger into the bruise once again. I don’t wanna do it. I won’t hurt myself again. It took years for me to recover. You won’t screw my life again, not now that I restructured it."
"You can’t just hide yourself into this walls and the perfect mamma role forever."
"Why can’t I?"
"You deserve more than that! You deserve a real man beside you and a good life! You deserve everything I wanted to give you but I couldn’t."
"I am pretty happy with what I have, . I don’t want to get in the game again, I am happy being the mommy and the teacher. I don’t need anything else. I don’t need another man to do what you did to me."
"God, don’t attack me! I never even had the chance to apologize! I never meant to be mean or to hurt you! I wanted to be there, I wanted to be with you and help you through the moments you needed."
"You wanted to. But intentions are not enough. You wanted to but you didn’t. That’s the fact and you just can’t change it. You can’t turn back in time and undo the things you did wrongly!"
"I know it! And I paid my dues, as I said. I don’t need more punishment!"
"Look, I just don’t see a meaning for this conversation." It was already near eleven o’clock and in the pub there were just them, and plus the workers still in there. and were far away from them and they looked a bit drunk, but happy with each other’s company. When she was leaving, it started playing the first accords of a famous song and she felt ’s hand holding her arm.
"…" she turned around and looked at him. "Can I have this dance?"
"Why are you doing this to me?" She said, with tears in her eyes. It hurt her so much when she noticed she still loved him. It was absurd! After all that happened, she still loved him.
"I don’t know why I did what I did to myself. Please…just this one. I don’t know when I’m going to see you again." Then she let him pull her closer and put his long and strong arm around her waist. And he started singing along, with Bon Jovi, looking at her, like if there was nothing else to look at in the room. "I guess you remember this one, don’t you?"
It was Bed of Roses, the song of their first kiss.

Chapter 16

Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano
Trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know
'cause a bottle of vodka still lies in my head
And some blond gave me nightmares
I think that she's still in my bed
As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead
With an ironclad fist I wake up and French kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head while
We’re talking about all of the things that I long to believe,
About love, the truth and what you mean to me.
And the truth is, baby, you're all that I need.

He started caressing her hair, lightly, enjoying each and every second of it. He didn’t know if it would happen again… And it felt so good.

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses

Well I'm so far away
Each step that I take is on my way home
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I'll just close my eyes and whisper, baby blind love is true

When they were right on this part of the song, couldn’t take it anymore. He put his hand on her chin and pulled it up tenderly. Then he took her hair off of her face and kissed her. She kissed him back and it felt really good to him. It felt like if it was first kiss to him.
In seconds they stopped and she ran away of the place. He went after her.
"Hey, hey…why are you running away?"
"I am DONE with you, ok?" She was crying. She was disappointed with herself for letting that go so far. If she was strong, she would never even let happen a conversation, imagine a KISS! "I just can’t believe in how pretentious and arrogant you are! Who the hell do you think you are to come back to the place I live and say lots of…BULLSHIT you don’t mean and think that I can forgive you in a glimpse, like if you pressed a button! It’s not like that!"
"I know it isn’t! And who said I don’t mean it? I do mean it, . I would never say all I said if I didn’t mean it. We love each other can’t you see it?"
"Oh, stop with this shit! I don’t believe you! It’s… Look, I’m fine on my own, I don’t need you back to mess up and hurt me again!"
"I won’t ever do it again , ever. I almost died last years without you; I didn’t even look to another girl, because you didn’t leave my thoughts for a second"
"And why should I give you another chance, ? Why? Why you and me again?"
"It’s not about giving me another chance. I don’t deserve another chance. Our love deserves another chance. We were so young, I was so immature… I won’t do it again, never, I swear!"
"I have to go!"
"You’re running away!"
"TO THE HELL WITH YOUR GAMES, I AM RUNNING AWAY AND I DON’T CARE A SHIT ABOUT IT!" She entered into the pub again to call . She needed to talk. And when she entered, it was playing Yeah of Usher. And – drunken – was making a private strip-tease to , who LOVED it. He had already taken of his shirt and he was taking out his belt.
"Oh my God…" she said, laughing a bit. The night would probably be…Erm...BUSY to , so she decided to go home by herself.
She got home and everywhere she looked she saw something that remembered them. Desperate, she called the airport and bought two tickets to Madrid, for going on a-week-trip. She needed to run away from there!
She bought the tickets and put the luggage near the door. They were going to leave at four p.m, on Monday.

Chapter 17

The next day

She woke up that morning and went to pick up at the neighbor. He felt really happy and she took him to a bakery to have breakfast, what he loved so much. She had to tell him that they were going to travel a wee.
When they got home, she had the best view ever. Luke, in his best style was outside the house. And how she needed a conversation! , who really liked Luke, ran to him.
"Uncle Lukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" And Luke hugged , feeling like if he was the best thing he had ever done.
"Hey monster! You look awesome…"
"Hey Luke!" said, smiling and hugging him tightly.
"Hey angel…how are ya?"
"Well…. I am so glad you are here, I really need a conversation."
"Really? What for?"
"Uncle Luke, my daddy is in town! He spent the whole week with me! Isn’t that aaaaaaaaaaaawesome?" Luke looked at her and raised one eyebrow.
"Sure it is. Now, what about getting home and picking up your rollers? I want to go to the park, to take a walk!"
"GREATTTTT! Mommy, can I pick up yours too?"
"Yeah cowboy!"
"Wow…" Luke said when got in. "Now I see why you need so much a conversation." He joked and she laughed, nervously. "C’mon, relax, give me a hug…" she hugged him and he held her tightly, comforting her as usual. Then, they heard someone coughing, as if wanted to be heard.
"Oh, Erm…" said Luke, letting her go. "Hello ." And he gave his hand for to shake.
"Hello Luke…There’s been a long time, uh?" He said, shaking hands with him. He couldn’t help but envying Luke because of the hug. But he didn’t feel jealous anymore.
"Yeah…you bet." Then got out of the house carrying the rollers.
"Hey, here I go! DADYYYYY!" And he threw it on the ground and ran to his daddy.
"Hey cowboy. What are ya up to today?"
"Me, mommy and Luke are going to the park. Hey! Wanna come with us?"
"I don’t know…" he answered looking at . "I don’t know if I could…"
"If you want to, don’t be shy." She answered, dry, with no intimacy. But, if before felt miserable each time she treated him coldly, after the kiss he knew it was just a disguise of her feelings. It didn’t scare him anymore.
"Ok, so I’m coming with you guys."
"Ok… Who’s going in my car?" asked Luke.
"Me!" answered and , together.
"Please mommy, let me go with Uncle Luke, he has that CD I like with that guy’s songs…the one I never remember the name…"
"Bon Jovi, …Bon Jovi. Ok…You can go with Luke." and Luke looked at her worried and got into his car with . Then got into ’s car. They were alone again and that scared her a lot, mainly when she felt like if he could hear her heart beats.
They were in absolute silence when he had another mature attitude.
"Well, I don’t think your attitude is going to solve anything, you know?"
"I don’t know what you mean." She answered to the window.
"Bullshit, you certainly do."
"Look, would you mind respecting my position?"
"I’m not questioning your position, not yet. I’m just saying what I think about this attitude of playing the indifferent one." They stopped at the traffic light. He turned her face, tenderly to her. And after looking deep inside her soul by the eyes, he whispered with his hoarse voice "You know I know you very well for playing games with me. You can’t deny what your eyes are telling me. Why do you try so hard to run away from that?"
", stop trying to ruin what I took so long to rebuild, ok? And drive, God damn it!"
"What am I doing besides trying to get you back?"
"Oh, you say that as you really meant it, as if you were really sincere and, mainly, as if it’s easy like buying a frog at a pet store! I mean, after all this time, you should’ve gotten used to this situation. Think about what you’ve done! It’s too important; I just can’t wake up in the morning as if a magical wand has touched me and change my mind, . I can’t forget what happened. I look at you and all I can see is such a handsome guy, who I considered my prince charming six years ago and who hurt me in the worst way a person could do! And you can’t deny I have a point in this situation, ok?" She was almost crying again. It was hard to play the tough one, mainly when all she really wanted was getting back to the old times, when they were always happy.
"Ok, I deserve that, I get your point. But I love you, ok? And I never even got the change to explain myself! I can’t take other years like those ones I’ve just got."
"Like what?" she was yelling and crying, feeling so stupid.
"Like what? Flash news to you lady: do you know how many times I called you trying a conversation? I called you 125 times, on the first five months and you didn’t answer any of those calls. Do you know how many times I stepped by your house here in Cork, late at night and watched you sleeping through the window, hidden, as no one you know could see me? All the times I had a vacation and all the times Westlife was nearby. You don’t know how it felt to look at you sleeping with that pj’s, the way you used to do when we were married and not be allowed to touch you. To get close to you. And what mixed up my head the most was that you always had to sleep with a pillow, hugging it the way you used to hug me." His eyes were filled by tears again. "And that happens because you’ve never gotten used to be without me, the same way I didn’t. Is that what you want for the rest of your life?" He asked, looking deep into her eyes.
"We arrived, is waiting for us." And she left the car, almost running. He stood there a bit and punched the steering wheel.

Chapter 18

After that, and were together all the time. And Luke was really close to them, as noticed. And he wondered, once again, what was the truth about Luke’s feelings.
After walking a little, and entered at the skating floor and started skating together. In the meantime, Luke and went to pick up something for them to eat. They were in silence, when Luke asked:
"Can I ask you a few things, ? I have them on my mind and I can’t miss the opportunity."
"Absolutely."
"Well, before…do you still hate me?"
"No… Of course I don’t Luke."
"Whoa…Loads better."
"I used to. I was so god damn jealous of you. It was just childish, you know? I knew she loved me, but for some unknown reason, I couldn’t stand how your presence mattered to her. I wish I could be like a Superman and solve all her problems. I couldn’t bear the way she needed you. If I was mature six years ago like I am now, nothing of this would have happened."
"I kind of know and expect that. I tried once to tell her that, but I think it was still too soon. She couldn’t even hear your name. It was tough. She was like a ghost, . You wouldn’t like to see her on her worst days. doesn’t even imagine how she is strong. She disguised it very well. Just me and know about her true feelings."
"I don’t think I have the measure of this and I am a grown up…technically." They laughed lightly. "I think you’re right. I wouldn’t like to see her feeling bad, mainly because of me."
"I don’t think she would let you see how she was suffering. She hides it even nowadays. You will never know about her suffering because she hardly admits it to herself. But the truth is that something died into her heart the moment she heard on the phone, . Think about how you would feel. It was really mean and cruel."
"I know. That’s why I am not more incisive. I don’t have the right to expect even a hello from her."
"Now… tell me something: why are you here? What are you intentions?"
"I came around to see her again Luke. It’s been a long time since last time I saw her really close, you know? I really missed her and I needed to fill my memories with other things, with more of her. I needed to add new data on my “ database”, you know?"
"Well, I don’t wanna be the meddler one, but I was really worried about it. You don’t know how last years were tough for her, . And I’m afraid it’s your entire fault."
"I know Luke. She deserves someone better than me. Actually…why don’t you and her ever…?"
", please…" Luke said, looking a bit sad, although conformed, now. "Can’t you see? Her heart is so full of you! She’s always loved you. And she always will." Then he laughed, shyly. "I won’t deny you that I’d love to and I tried to make us a couple. I do love her, if this is what you want to know. But I never offered and I never will offer any kind of danger to you. Your space in her heart is VIP. Even though I love her… I know she’d never be happy with me."
"So…she still loves me…?" he asked, smiling.
"She certainly does. It doesn’t mean a thing, as you know; she is not good at forgetting and forgiving…"
"Oh, I got the point." And they smiled at each other. noticed what a great guy Luke was and how fool he had been few years ago. They talked a bit more and bought hamburgers. bought a natural tuna one, because he knew she loved it. Luke was surprised by as well. He seemed another person, like if he had learned and grown up loads of years.

They got back and was taking care of ’s knee, which had a little bruise. She looked worried and desperate, and had already cleaned a lot. But he was happy: a bruised knee to show everyone he already knew how to skate and that those bruises didn’t matter. Boy’s stuff.

Chapter 19

They stopped on the grass to have lunch and then said:
"Mommy, what time is our flight tomorrow?" She froze. Oh …you said too much again. She thought.
"Flight?" asked looking at her, and, as he had gotten an idea instantly, he’d rather not to believe that.
"It’s at four p.m. cowboy. But everything is already set up."
"A flight?" He asked again, now, angry.
"Hey, ." said Luke, feeling the atmosphere changing. "Let’s buy a coke with me? I always get lost in this place."
"Ok, Uncle Luke." And they went to the diner to buy it.
"I didn’t get an answer . Where in the hell are you going with my son?"
"Low down your voice, ! First, I don’t owe you any kind of…"
"Oh, stop trying to humiliate me with all your superiority speech, ok? I just can’t believe you’re doing that…It’s not POSSIBLE! This is ridiculous…do you know that? You are being selfish, behaving like a seven-year-old kid afraid of the dark, ok? And I am the dark!"
"Who do you think you are to judge me?"
"I am a person that made lots of mistakes, and learnt with them. I am more mature and smarter now and, mainly: I learnt things that you still don’t know, Mrs. Perfection." He was really mad at her. It was a mix of rage and sadness. He was seeing her escape through his fingers and he didn’t know what else he could do to stop it.
"Oh, really? Such as?" she asked, ironic.
"Such as recognizing I am wrong and apologize. Running after what I want and not running away of it. Look, I don’t think I’m going to get you ever in my life."
"What do you want from me, ?"
"I want honesty. I want you to be true to yourself once in your life. I want you to say a huge “Fuck off” to your pride. This is what I want."
"You don’t have the right to ask me that."
"You don’t have the right to run away in my opinion as well. And you will do it anyway. You’re just a huge liar, because the worst liar is the one that lies to himself. That’s the thing . You’re disappointing me."
"Are you feeling good? We’re even then."
"After this damn thing…I’m going. Tell I had to…help with something, I have to let my mind wander a bit!" And he walked away.

At home, later

didn’t get mad about leaving. Actually, they went home as soon as Luke got back and he noticed was not OK.
It was still two o’clock, but was so tired that he fell asleep. That was awesome, because then could talk to Luke.

When they sat at the table to start talking, someone knocked the door.
"Luke…please…" she was almost begging and he answered. It was , with a huge smile on her face.
"Hello Luke! How are ya feeling today? There’s a long time I don’t see ya uh?"
"Yeah… I’m fine and I see you’re fine as well."
"You bet I am. Where is ?"
"I’m here …how was your night?" asked, forgetting a bit about her life.
"I have five words for that: he is so fucking good!" And both laughed loudly, while Luke still had that interrogative sign face.
"Am I missing something?"
"Well…" and they told what happened, that came to the festival and him and had a wild and fun night. After lots of laugh, looked at and asked:
"What about you? If I wasn’t drunk I’m pretty sure that I saw a kiss…"
"You were drunk, for sure, but the kiss was for real…" said Luke.
"Well…I don’t know what else I can do, . He is so determined and I just don’t want it and…" tears came up again.
"If you are that certain that you don’t want him anymore, why are you crying when you say that?" asked . Silence. "I know why. Because you want him, too. What you don’t want is suffering again. And is not synonymous of that."
"Oh, no? Think about what happened and say: which credit does he have?"
"None. He will have to get you back and I’m sure you want it."
"But you have to give him the chance to get to you." said Luke.
"For what? For hurting myself again?"
"God, stop being so stubborn! It’s above your pride! You guys have a story together!"
"We HAD a story together! It’s over, God damn it! Why can’t you guys get it?"
"Oh, really? So look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love him anymore." She looked to the floor. "See?" sighed. She had to be alone and make up her mind. "Look, I’m leaving and I’m taking Luke with me. is asleep and then you have all the time of the world to think about what you’re going to do. Whatever you decide, we will support you, ok?" She nodded and everyone left her. And she started thinking, just as they said she should.

Chapter 20

The next day – the airport

Luke was taking them to the airport. said he’d be there, to say the byes. In the path, was singing Bon Jovi along within Luke. Then, a song started playing, Bed of Roses.

When the chorus arrived, tears escaped form her eyes again. didn’t notice.
"What’s up?" Luke asked discretely.
"Nothing really. This song was playing in our first kiss, that’s all." they got the airport and while was distracted seeing the airplanes, Luke looked at and asked:
"Are you sure you’re going to do this?" She thought a bit and nodded. It was missing just fifteen minutes and when they were getting into the plane, arrived, running.
"Hey, cowboy! Would you leave your daddy without saying bye?" ran to hug and she stood quiet and frozen. After they had said the byes, got closer to her, serious.
"Look, I didn’t mean the words I said yesterday. And…well, I won’t take your time anymore. Just, please, listen to what I recorded on this CD, ok? It’s important." He came closer and kissed her cheek. "Wow, that was difficult. Well…Just take care and be happy, OK?" She nodded and went in with .

When she sat in the plane, asked her:
"Mommy, won’t you listen to daddy’s CD?"
"Yes…is your disc-man in the bag?"
"Yeah!" caught it and she put the CD inside, shaking. And his voice started saying few things.

Hello,

I don’t really know if you are going to listen to what I’ll say here, but…I’m going to say it anyway! I don’t have anything else to lose, so it’s nice to know that I am trying.
I don’t get the point of this trip…I mean… Actually I get, I just don’t agree. You may not believe me, and I don’t blame you for that, not at all. But I changed.
Lots of times I wondered why I did what I did. Few days, the vodka was the perfect excuse. But then my conscience started working and I couldn’t pretend I was innocent, because I am not. I learnt a lot with all that happened. And you have to believe that. I’m not the same selfish stupid fool anymore. I had to learn that the world does not revolve around my belly and, mainly: I learned that everything I do has a consequence. The consequence of my immature act was being without you. I deserved that, but I just can’t take it. I regret every single day what happened that night. But, as you said, intentions are not good enough. Acts remain, intentions are always forgotten.
I still remember all those nights I visited you, hidden. I didn’t have courage to face you. If I were you I would have the same attitude. What I did was horrible. But, if you say you can live perfectly without me, that you don’t miss me, I won’t believe. I will remember you, small and pretty, sleeping hugging, exactly the same way you used to hug me. I won’t say I envied the pillow, because that’s ridiculous…Even though it’s kinda truth. And that made me see that that empty space I left in your live, was still empty. That made me feel more confident and made start growing inside me the braveness seed you planted inside me.
We had such a beautiful story, we have , and we used to be so happy… Why giving up on that? Why throwing through the window such a beautiful thing we had and can get back? Lots of people dream about loving and being loved back their whole lives and never get it. We have this chance. I don’t wanna waste it.
But, I have no hurry. If you don’t know how to forgive or how to forget, I don’t know how to give up. And I won’t learn. All I want is someday having that lovely sight to me again, saying that I am important. And I don’t care how long it may seem. I will be here, always waiting for your change of heart, because I know you still love me. And it’s the dream of being with you again that makes me carry on. Even when you’re far from me you still give me strength to go on…

Well… The last thing is one song I wrote, thinking about you…again! And…It’s not the first neither the last, but it’s the most important…

And then accords started playing. And she heard his voice singing.

Can’t believe it’s over
That you're leaving
Weren't we meant to be?
Should've sensed the danger
Read the warnings
Right there in front of me
Just stop
Let’s start it over
Couldn't I get one more try?

Maybe tomorrow you'll say that you're mine
You'll realize, I could change
I'm gonna show you I'm in it for life
I'll get you back someday
Maybe tomorrow

I forgot to be there
I was selfish
I can see that now
I should've got to known you
Should've held you
When your tears fell down
Just stop
Don't make me beg you
Tell me that you'll stay the night

Maybe tomorrow you'll say that you're mine
You'll realize, I could change
I'm gonna show you I'm in it for life
I'll get you back someday
I will find a way

Wait a minute
Just hear me out
This time I promise, I'll put you first
Turn around now
Your heart can't let you walk away
I'll do what it takes

Maybe tomorrow you'll say that you're mine
You'll realize (realize), I could change (I can change)
I'm gonna show you I'm in it for life
I'll get you back someday
Maybe tomorrow

There's so much I wanna say now
I just wanna make a life with you (don't walk away)
There's so much I wanna do now
I just wanna make love to you

Maybe tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow

I love you…now and forever.

Chapter 21

In the way back to Cork, she felt like if she was being true and fair to herself for the first time in ages. She needed to say what she was feeling and she didn’t know how. So, she decided to do what came up to her mind when she saw him.

It was pouring rain when she got to the corner of his hotel and she saw him, walking by himself under the rain. She asked the driver to stop, paid him and started running under the rain after .

"! !" he looked around, trying to find who was calling him, and when he saw a short lady, in a cute wet flowered dress running to him, he couldn’t’ believe it was for real. She was getting closer and closer and all he could say was:
"…what are you doi…?" But before he could finish, she got close to him and kissed him, passionately, under the rain. He hugged her tightly and kissed her back. When they finally let go each other, she had a huge smile on her face, like if she had done what she really wanted from the bottom of her heart. "Wow…that was the best surprise ever." He said, taking her hair of off her face. They were both really wet, and he was still surprised by all that had just happened. "I still can’t believe it’s happening. But, I would never express in words how happy I am right now." After that they hugged and he said: "Look, would you mind getting in? I mean…it’s kinda wet here!" She laughed and they went to his room.

When they got there, he got closer and kissed her again, with all the passion he kept locked into his heart last six years.
"I love you….very, very, very much…" he whispered.
"I love you too, my poet." She whispered back.
"Thanks for forgiving me…"
"Thanks for waiting my own time to do it…"
"I would wait until the end of time. And it’s not because I need you. It because my heart chose you. And I can’t “unchoose” now. It’s all yours." he said, putting her hand on his chest. She could feel his heartbeats and she felt, as well, his love that he had kept inside all those years. It was true. He had changed. She smiled and they kept kissing. When it was getting more personal and a bit hotter, said:
"Look, wouldn’t you like to dry yourself a little bit…I don’t want you to get sick." He was a bit breathless and so was she.
"Ok." and she went to the bathroom and dried herself with the towels a little bit, combed her hair and when she got out of the bathroom, she found a bed full of rose petals and the room illumined by few candles. The most romantic atmosphere she had ever seen. And set up in a few minutes. "Oh my God…"
"Did you like it?" asked.
"Oh, of course I did …That’s awesome…" and he hugged her from the behind and kissed her neck.
"Glad you liked it. Now, lady, if you allow me…" and he pressed the play button on the radio control and then she heard the initial solo of Bed of Roses. Their song, within Maybe tomorrow. Both songs described their story, their love, and their lives.
Then, turned her around and started dancing and kissing her.

Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano
Trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know
'cause a bottle of vodka still lies in my head
And some blond gave me nightmares
I think that she's still in my bed
As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead

With an ironclad fist I wake up and French kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head while
We're talking about all of the things that I long to believe,
About love, the truth and what you mean to me.

Then he stopped kissing her, and looked into her eyes, singing along with Bon Jovi.
"And the truth is…Baby; you’re all that I need." And then the chorus arrived and he started singing close to her ear.

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses

While he sang that, he started leading her to the bed full of rose petals and unbuttoning her dress, really carefully, like if she could break. Softly, he passed the sleeves through her shoulders and let it go down her small beautiful body. At the same time, she unbuttoned his sweet black shit and caressed his chest, gently, with her small hands. She passed her hands on his shoulders, taking the shirt off, slowly.
That night was memorable in their lives. It was their first time since the divorce and both couldn’t remember feeling so close to each other. Suddenly, nothing of what happened mattered. It was really buried in their past.
After that, she slept, hugged to him, just as she had done to the pillow for long lonely years. He caressed her hair; feeling like the world could stop right on that moment. He smiled, and kissed her eyes. She opened them, and smiled back to him:
"So it did happen? I though it was some kind of good dream…"
"It used to be our dream baby. Now, it’s gonna turn into our reality, I promise you."

The End